My last experience with a toxic manipulative? girl

I (21M) met this girl (18F) on Instagram, she agreed to go out on a first date. It was incredible, no awkward silences, we seemed to hit it off. We spent it driving around talking and listening to music and then dinner. We had a second date, same thing again except now we've been cuddling the whole ride. For me, everything seemed going perfectly.

The issue is that she has to go to her hometown, she finished her studies and internship. I asked her to go out the day before she goes. She responded that she has to spend time with her friend (~18F) and she will try to make some time.

It wasn't the first time such a thing happens, while chatting, she would just go and talk to her friend instead and reply late. I decided that if she doesn't make some time to meet before she goes, I would break up with her. That's the least thing I see she can do if she's really interested. At around 19PM, she apologized that she can't make it.

I told her that the first two dates were perfect, and I don't know what happened. But if she was interested, meeting before she goes shouldn't be a problem. And that's it's not gonna work out.

She told me that her father left her at a young age, and she grew up without any men around, so it's hard for her to trust men. That's why she didn't want to go out according to her. And she was just watching a tv show at home.

We met late at night, and we agreed to give it a chance.

Fast forward, It was a mistake, similar issues like replying late, and for example after waiting for her to be free after some hours working on a report to have a conversation, she starts something else instead. I offered to come visit her at her town (it's not that far, it's like 40kms away). She said that her mother is protective and she won't let her out (this may be another lie). From one of the arguments we had about these issues, I brought up the question of where this is going, we can't meet, and the conversations aren't going that well. She said that she'll be in my city at September, and because of school, we can meet on A weekend (A weekend). I told her again that we will be bringing up this stuff over and over again, and it's not gonna work out.

That was supposedly it, I spent the next days wondering if I made the right choice, maybe I didn't give her a chance.

After about a week, she texts me. I was happy to see her message, I thought she wanted us to get back together.

She was like I just came to ask about you, that's all. I told her that she can't do that , it's gonna hurt me as I got too attached and I'd need sometime. She said that she was replying late to not make me get attached. I asked her directly if she wants to be with me, she said no. The purpose of the conversation is to boost her ego, to feel that she's the one who's breaking up with the other.

Anyways, she showed her sick colors, and atleast I wouldn't regret not giving her a chance. And the better of all this is that I was decisive and I didn't waste my time hoping that it might work out.

Submitted August 27, 2019 at 12:08AM

I (21M) met this girl (18F) on Instagram, she agreed to go out on a first date. It was incredible, no awkward silences, we seemed to hit it off. We spent it driving around talking and listening to music and then dinner. We had a second date, same thing again except now we've been cuddling the whole ride. For me, everything seemed going perfectly.The issue is that she has to go to her hometown, she finished her studies and internship. I asked her to go out the day before she goes. She responded that she has to spend time with her friend (~18F) and she will try to make some time.It wasn't the first time such a thing happens, while chatting, she would just go and talk to her friend instead and reply late. I decided that if she doesn't make some time to meet before she goes, I would break up with her. That's the least thing I see she can do if she's really interested. At around 19PM, she apologized that she can't make it.I told her that the first two dates were perfect, and I don't know what happened. But if she was interested, meeting before she goes shouldn't be a problem. And that's it's not gonna work out.She told me that her father left her at a young age, and she grew up without any men around, so it's hard for her to trust men. That's why she didn't want to go out according to her. And she was just watching a tv show at home.We met late at night, and we agreed to give it a chance.Fast forward, It was a mistake, similar issues like replying late, and for example after waiting for her to be free after some hours working on a report to have a conversation, she starts something else instead. I offered to come visit her at her town (it's not that far, it's like 40kms away). She said that her mother is protective and she won't let her out (this may be another lie). From one of the arguments we had about these issues, I brought up the question of where this is going, we can't meet, and the conversations aren't going that well. She said that she'll be in my city at September, and because of school, we can meet on A weekend (A weekend). I told her again that we will be bringing up this stuff over and over again, and it's not gonna work out.That was supposedly it, I spent the next days wondering if I made the right choice, maybe I didn't give her a chance.After about a week, she texts me. I was happy to see her message, I thought she wanted us to get back together.She was like I just came to ask about you, that's all. I told her that she can't do that , it's gonna hurt me as I got too attached and I'd need sometime. She said that she was replying late to not make me get attached. I asked her directly if she wants to be with me, she said no. The purpose of the conversation is to boost her ego, to feel that she's the one who's breaking up with the other.Anyways, she showed her sick colors, and atleast I wouldn't regret not giving her a chance. And the better of all this is that I was decisive and I didn't waste my time hoping that it might work out.