My wife still talks about her ex husband 15 years in the relationship.

My(47m) wife (40f) was married before me with her high school sweet heart. We meet less than year after separation. She was still waiting for the divorce to be finalized when we started dating.

From the beginning my wife talked about her ex. About a year ago she told me if I ever mention her spouse again she would divorce me during a fight. About two weeks ago she yelled at me because I mentioned her ex.

The problem is my wife mention her ex frequently. During low times she mention him about once every other month. Other times I would hear about her ex several time during the day.

The worst was when my sister in-law was getting married. My wife said it was a special moment for her sister. My sister in-law was trying to relate with my wife for her wedding. She could not relate with our relationship because me and my wife never had a wedding. We did not have a wedding ceremony because my wife was already married before and she told me no one would care. My wife said the sister in-way was trying to relate with her for the wedding. She told me I would never hear about the ex after the sister in-law wedding.

Honestly this was a hard time. I found out about too much information I would never want to know. Example is my wife song for the first dance she had on with her ex wedding. I am the type of person to think about my wife ex wedding every time I hear the song. I know that is not healthy but it is how I think. I don’t want to know this information.

Relationship wise I feel like I am always 2nd to everything in my wife life (wife family, kids and friends). To make it complicated my father in-law has been diagnosed with a fatal disease that is fatal and refuse treatment at 55 years old. The past year and half with been a rollercoaster ride with the news of the father in-law sickness.

I feel like her frequently talking about the ex and me unable to mention the ex is troubling. It feel like she is still not over her ex. I feel like I am in his shadow.

TLDR: My wife still talk about my ex after 15 years being together. I get yelled at mention the ex. Is this normal or healthy?



Submitted August 22, 2019 at 11:46PM

My(47m) wife (40f) was married before me with her high school sweet heart. We meet less than year after separation. She was still waiting for the divorce to be finalized when we started dating.From the beginning my wife talked about her ex. About a year ago she told me if I ever mention her spouse again she would divorce me during a fight. About two weeks ago she yelled at me because I mentioned her ex.The problem is my wife mention her ex frequently. During low times she mention him about once every other month. Other times I would hear about her ex several time during the day.The worst was when my sister in-law was getting married. My wife said it was a special moment for her sister. My sister in-law was trying to relate with my wife for her wedding. She could not relate with our relationship because me and my wife never had a wedding. We did not have a wedding ceremony because my wife was already married before and she told me no one would care. My wife said the sister in-way was trying to relate with her for the wedding. She told me I would never hear about the ex after the sister in-law wedding.Honestly this was a hard time. I found out about too much information I would never want to know. Example is my wife song for the first dance she had on with her ex wedding. I am the type of person to think about my wife ex wedding every time I hear the song. I know that is not healthy but it is how I think. I don’t want to know this information.Relationship wise I feel like I am always 2nd to everything in my wife life (wife family, kids and friends). To make it complicated my father in-law has been diagnosed with a fatal disease that is fatal and refuse treatment at 55 years old. The past year and half with been a rollercoaster ride with the news of the father in-law sickness.I feel like her frequently talking about the ex and me unable to mention the ex is troubling. It feel like she is still not over her ex. I feel like I am in his shadow.TLDR: My wife still talk about my ex after 15 years being together. I get yelled at mention the ex. Is this normal or healthy?
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