How forward should I (18M) be when I ask someone out over messaging if we've only been introduced? I've never been in this situation.

I (18M) recently attended a one-day session at a little camp/retreat in my county. There, I was briefly introduced to a really cute girl (17/18?F) and we had just around a minute's worth of interaction. I would have taken the opportunity to give her my number had it arisen later that afternoon, but she's a part of the staff and was closing down an event at that point when we met, and the only glance I caught of her afterward was when she was in the staff room with her coworkers.

After the event, we followed each other on Instagram, and that's how I'll be contacting her. I'd like to see if she's open to talking and getting to know each other better. (Is that how these things work? I'd genuinely like feedback on this as well as the rest of the post. Both my past relationships were friendships first. This would be the first instance of me asking someone out whom I hardly know, and it's already less ideal because I'd prefer to do it in-person instead of Instagram DMs.)

When I do message her, how forward should I be? I don't want to lose the opportunity because I, someone she knows nothing about aside from a name (although I do have a pretty good name going for me), text her out of nowhere and say, "I only got to meet you yesterday, but if you're open to it, I'd love to talk to you over lunch." (She is Christian [this was a Christian camp] and so I don't know how her family would view her meeting me - yes, we were introduced, but I'm basically a stranger and she is a teenager, after all.) That all might freak her out. But if I were to say, "Hey, not sure how close you live to me, but I wish we could have talked more yesterday. If you're ever in [town where I live], here's my number, and you can call me if you want to meet up," then yes, the ball is mostly in her court and hopefully she's more comfortable with the exchange, but it could also be the day I leave for school before she ever happens to drop in on my town.

So, Reddit, I'm a teenage guy who wants to make the right opening and I don't have much experience. Both my two previous relationships started by them asking me out. I'm very green. How should I navigate this?

Submitted August 23, 2019 at 12:08AM

I (18M) recently attended a one-day session at a little camp/retreat in my county. There, I was briefly introduced to a really cute girl (17/18?F) and we had just around a minute's worth of interaction. I would have taken the opportunity to give her my number had it arisen later that afternoon, but she's a part of the staff and was closing down an event at that point when we met, and the only glance I caught of her afterward was when she was in the staff room with her coworkers.After the event, we followed each other on Instagram, and that's how I'll be contacting her. I'd like to see if she's open to talking and getting to know each other better. (Is that how these things work? I'd genuinely like feedback on this as well as the rest of the post. Both my past relationships were friendships first. This would be the first instance of me asking someone out whom I hardly know, and it's already less ideal because I'd prefer to do it in-person instead of Instagram DMs.)When I do message her, how forward should I be? I don't want to lose the opportunity because I, someone she knows nothing about aside from a name (although I do have a pretty good name going for me), text her out of nowhere and say, "I only got to meet you yesterday, but if you're open to it, I'd love to talk to you over lunch." (She is Christian [this was a Christian camp] and so I don't know how her family would view her meeting me - yes, we were introduced, but I'm basically a stranger and she is a teenager, after all.) That all might freak her out. But if I were to say, "Hey, not sure how close you live to me, but I wish we could have talked more yesterday. If you're ever in [town where I live], here's my number, and you can call me if you want to meet up," then yes, the ball is mostly in her court and hopefully she's more comfortable with the exchange, but it could also be the day I leave for school before she ever happens to drop in on my town.So, Reddit, I'm a teenage guy who wants to make the right opening and I don't have much experience. Both my two previous relationships started by them asking me out. I'm very green. How should I navigate this?