Guy(27M) I’ve(23F) been dating is going through a depressive state and might’ve dumped me?

I started dating an amazing guy a couple months ago. Everything was going awesome until suddenly, after a weekend where he went to a music festival, he completely changed and it hasn’t been the same since.

He became very distant and we stopped hanging out completely for weeks. He told me that he had done a lot of drugs at this festival so I assumed that he was just having a rough come-down but after a month of not hanging out, I asked him about it (we see each other frequently at work so having it fade out without addressing it would’ve been very awkward). I said that if he wasn’t feeling it anymore, then we could go back to being work buddies and just to let me know what he was feeling so we could be on the same page. He responded by apologizing for being distant and saying that he’s been going through a rough time mentally, he’s been speaking to his doctor about it and has started new meds to try and help. He said that he’s just focusing on getting out of his own head and “doesn’t think he can handle more right now” (his exact words). I said that I understood and didn’t want to put any additional pressure on him so I would lay off texting, but if he ever wanted to reach out to me that he was more than welcome to.

This was a few weeks ago and since then we have chatted at work like normal and texted occasionally (only when he starts the conversation or when it’s work related). We haven’t hung out at all still, but he will still use his cute nickname for me sometimes and will text me to chat every couple days. I’m still fairly confused. Is it over or are we just in a dating limbo? Would it be rude if I started dating other people? If anyone has experienced anything similar, how did it play out?

TLDR: guy I was dating begins a depressive episode and becomes very distant. Says he needs to focus on getting out of his own head. I’m confused as to where we are at now and if we are just friends or on-pause.



Submitted August 17, 2019 at 11:52PM

I started dating an amazing guy a couple months ago. Everything was going awesome until suddenly, after a weekend where he went to a music festival, he completely changed and it hasn’t been the same since.He became very distant and we stopped hanging out completely for weeks. He told me that he had done a lot of drugs at this festival so I assumed that he was just having a rough come-down but after a month of not hanging out, I asked him about it (we see each other frequently at work so having it fade out without addressing it would’ve been very awkward). I said that if he wasn’t feeling it anymore, then we could go back to being work buddies and just to let me know what he was feeling so we could be on the same page. He responded by apologizing for being distant and saying that he’s been going through a rough time mentally, he’s been speaking to his doctor about it and has started new meds to try and help. He said that he’s just focusing on getting out of his own head and “doesn’t think he can handle more right now” (his exact words). I said that I understood and didn’t want to put any additional pressure on him so I would lay off texting, but if he ever wanted to reach out to me that he was more than welcome to.This was a few weeks ago and since then we have chatted at work like normal and texted occasionally (only when he starts the conversation or when it’s work related). We haven’t hung out at all still, but he will still use his cute nickname for me sometimes and will text me to chat every couple days. I’m still fairly confused. Is it over or are we just in a dating limbo? Would it be rude if I started dating other people? If anyone has experienced anything similar, how did it play out?TLDR: guy I was dating begins a depressive episode and becomes very distant. Says he needs to focus on getting out of his own head. I’m confused as to where we are at now and if we are just friends or on-pause.
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