Boyfriend of 11 months hasn’t said I love you. Does this mean he probably never will? Thinking about saying it first.

Jumping the gun already because I feel like my BF of 11 months will never say it unless I do first. He’s not verbally affectionate or expressive, almost a robot actually, and I’ve posted my concerns that during the few days in between we see each other I have to be the one to text or call first because he doesn’t feel the need to. And I need that to feel connected to him but have accepted the fact that he’s not like that, he’s an introvert and doesn’t want to reach for his phone really... even though he did during the beginning of our relationship (albeit still rare). But yes, I talked to him last week and he made it clear he’s just not like that or needs that amount of contact and says he shows it to me and wouldn’t spend what little time he has left, with me. He works sometimes 6 days a week with occasional 12 hour days, kids, kids’ sports, etc.

A few weeks ago, I had a little talk with him and it took a lot to get any words out of him on his feelings for me. It seemed difficult for him, but basically he told me “I care a lot about you.” Also said while he’s not the mushy type with words or constant phone communication, he said he know he shows me. And he’s right.

But when we’re together, he’s the most loving, sweet, caring, affectionate guy who loves to cuddle, hold me, kiss and hug me, rub my back. And the biggest thing of all, we have brought our kids around each other in June and the all love each other. He’s even invited me out with them even on a day I didn’t have my kids, so that means a lot.

Ok, so I feel like I need to suck it up and just tell him I love him. It scares the shit out of me though, and I’m already preparing myself for not receiving the response/reaction I want. I won’t see him until Monday evening, but think I might say it... I’d like to get some thoughts though, based on what I wrote about him if:

1.) I say it and he can’t say it back, how to I handle the relationship? Would that be a dealbreaker, given it’s already been 11 months and if he doesn’t love me by now, there’s a problem there.

Or

2.) Hold off, because it doesn’t sound like he’s there yet, or will ever be.

Submitted August 17, 2019 at 11:51PM

Jumping the gun already because I feel like my BF of 11 months will never say it unless I do first. He’s not verbally affectionate or expressive, almost a robot actually, and I’ve posted my concerns that during the few days in between we see each other I have to be the one to text or call first because he doesn’t feel the need to. And I need that to feel connected to him but have accepted the fact that he’s not like that, he’s an introvert and doesn’t want to reach for his phone really... even though he did during the beginning of our relationship (albeit still rare). But yes, I talked to him last week and he made it clear he’s just not like that or needs that amount of contact and says he shows it to me and wouldn’t spend what little time he has left, with me. He works sometimes 6 days a week with occasional 12 hour days, kids, kids’ sports, etc.A few weeks ago, I had a little talk with him and it took a lot to get any words out of him on his feelings for me. It seemed difficult for him, but basically he told me “I care a lot about you.” Also said while he’s not the mushy type with words or constant phone communication, he said he know he shows me. And he’s right.But when we’re together, he’s the most loving, sweet, caring, affectionate guy who loves to cuddle, hold me, kiss and hug me, rub my back. And the biggest thing of all, we have brought our kids around each other in June and the all love each other. He’s even invited me out with them even on a day I didn’t have my kids, so that means a lot.Ok, so I feel like I need to suck it up and just tell him I love him. It scares the shit out of me though, and I’m already preparing myself for not receiving the response/reaction I want. I won’t see him until Monday evening, but think I might say it... I’d like to get some thoughts though, based on what I wrote about him if:1.) I say it and he can’t say it back, how to I handle the relationship? Would that be a dealbreaker, given it’s already been 11 months and if he doesn’t love me by now, there’s a problem there.Or2.) Hold off, because it doesn’t sound like he’s there yet, or will ever be.