Casual long distance, now living in the same city (unplanned), help! I can’t figure out what we are

I started seeing this guy last December I met on a dating app. He would come into town about once a month for work for a few days and we always had a great time. We would hook up, but there are definite lines (no sex) that were honestly drawn mostly by him.

Anyways, by happenstance, 2 months ago we moved to the same city (which we found out was going to happen in April and kept seeing each other and talking about seeing each other in the new city). He saw me the day he arrived in the city, but since then we’ve only seen each other once every 2 weeks. About a month ago I asked him what we were doing now that we live in the same place and he said he isn’t seeing other people, and didn’t want to be a crutch - like he wanted each of us to build our lives independently. Which I agree is important, but I only see him every other week. He asks me out one weekend, we go out, I ask him out the next, he is busy. Rinse and repeat. This has been a pattern for 2 months. Because we saw each other last weekend, I usually text him towards the end of the week to hang out but this week I didn’t because 1) whenever I ask he says he is busy and 2) I just started my new job and he didn’t even check in to see how it went. I mean at this point we’ve been seeing each other for months, he can’t even check in to see how my first week on the job went?

Even if we are building our own lives in this new place, couldn’t we see each other every week? Is he stringing me along? I don’t know what to think. He is SO present when we are together, and we had SO much fun last weekend, and just a normal date, NOT a hook up, just like enjoying each other’s company playing and laughing and having fun. Didn’t even go back to each other’s place, etc. What is going on? I mostly want to know if I’m stupid for going along with this or if I should be more patient.



Submitted August 23, 2019 at 11:56PM

I started seeing this guy last December I met on a dating app. He would come into town about once a month for work for a few days and we always had a great time. We would hook up, but there are definite lines (no sex) that were honestly drawn mostly by him.Anyways, by happenstance, 2 months ago we moved to the same city (which we found out was going to happen in April and kept seeing each other and talking about seeing each other in the new city). He saw me the day he arrived in the city, but since then we’ve only seen each other once every 2 weeks. About a month ago I asked him what we were doing now that we live in the same place and he said he isn’t seeing other people, and didn’t want to be a crutch - like he wanted each of us to build our lives independently. Which I agree is important, but I only see him every other week. He asks me out one weekend, we go out, I ask him out the next, he is busy. Rinse and repeat. This has been a pattern for 2 months. Because we saw each other last weekend, I usually text him towards the end of the week to hang out but this week I didn’t because 1) whenever I ask he says he is busy and 2) I just started my new job and he didn’t even check in to see how it went. I mean at this point we’ve been seeing each other for months, he can’t even check in to see how my first week on the job went?Even if we are building our own lives in this new place, couldn’t we see each other every week? Is he stringing me along? I don’t know what to think. He is SO present when we are together, and we had SO much fun last weekend, and just a normal date, NOT a hook up, just like enjoying each other’s company playing and laughing and having fun. Didn’t even go back to each other’s place, etc. What is going on? I mostly want to know if I’m stupid for going along with this or if I should be more patient.
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