/u/Lena_Vi on How to deal with ace rejection

I’m sorry - that sounds really tough. If you are still feeling confused and wondering if he is interested, as awkward as it might be, I think the best thing to do would be to ask him about it directly. You don’t need to be confrontational about it, you could just say “hey, at the risk of making things awkward, I really like you, and I felt like maybe you felt the same way until recently and now I am wondering if my asexuality has changed your feelings?”

If you aren’t comfortable being that direct, as much as it sucks, it’s probably for the best the he got scared off now and not later. Of course, it would have been best if he had responded to the opening you left and said “I like you a lot, but to be honest, I can’t see a relationship between us working”, but unless he is completely oblivious, I can almost guarantee that he didn’t miss the opening you left in the conversation. Maybe he didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or he is still figuring out how he feels about it, but it sounds like you have made your interests pretty clear.

I know this probably doesn’t really help, and I’m sorry you are feeling so lonely - I really hope that you find someone more compatible or some strong, fulfilling friendships that help you to feel less alone. But, we do see a lot of posts around here with people saying things like “I’ve been with my partner for a year and they always said they were ok with my asexuality, but now they are being moody and distant and trying to initiate sexy times constantly even though they know I’m not comfortable with it, etc.”

If this guy knows (or has an inkling) already that a relationship with an ace would be a no go for him, he is saving you both some heartbreak by maintaining distance (though again, it would be much better if he would tell you this directly).

July 12, 2019 at 12:01AM