Surprisingly romantic tinder dates have completely confused me

Hey reddit, I would love your opinion on the situation I've gotten myself in.

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Two months ago, I met a guy on tinder while in an open relationship. I'm a female in my late 20s for reference. A few months ago, the spark with my (then) long-term boyfriend had fizzled a bit and we decided to go on a few dates, with all parties fully in the know about the circumstances. I ended up really liking the one guy I met on Tinder, which is so unexpected and unusual for me. I usually don't develop feelings for most guys, including dates I've gone on in the past. This has since motivated me to end my current relationship, which is actively happening but kind of slow because we have to find different places to live.

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The tinder guy and I had originally met up with short-term FWB expectations. He was leaving to go back to his home country for the summer and we had a month. He also had a difficult breakup a few months before and wasn't interested in dating anyone. During this month, we hung out 4 times and really hit it off. Our 1st date was 3 hours of interesting and enjoyable conversation, then we hung out for 9 hours the next time, and then 2 more times after that.

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During this time, we never had have sex and only had a couple makeout sessions. We also DM'd and texted quite a bit, every few days or so. He also wined and dined the hell out of me. Paid for meals, paid for drinks, chatted for hours - basically it was how you treat someone you're interested in dating. By the end of the month he mentioned a few times that he wanted to see me again when he got back. Although he said that he didn't care that I had a boyfriend, he also acted super weird every time my ex came up and at one point said he doesn't like being 2nd to my ex. On the other hand, he never said he liked me or anything, was adamant that this was not dating, but then acted really romantic, interested in everything about me, etc. It is so confusing. When we said goodbye in person, I told him that I can't hang out with him again unless I'm single, because of how conflicted this made me feel. He was like 'I can give you time' and 'I really want to see you again when I get back'

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Either way, he left for his home country 1.5 months ago, and a few weeks after I ended up telling him that I couldn't talk for a few weeks because of the breakup I was going through. In retrospect this was not a great idea, but it was self-preservation. He was texting me frequently and it was making my feelings for him that much stronger, like I felt obsessed with him and it was heart-wrenching to feel like that WHILE still figuring out what to do in my current relationship (definitely not ever doing an open relationship again lol). So now, a month later, I hit him up again to say hi (and open the door to talking again if he was interested) and it was just absolutely crap conversation. This was after a few conversations where I felt like I was carrying the weight before I cut things off for a bit. I feel like it's over, but I really don't know.

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Should I just forget about this guy? I still have strong feelings for him, but I have no idea if I came across as weird or needy, or if I seemed dishonest because I already had a boyfriend. Really curious to hear what your opinions are of this and how you would perceive me if you were in his shoes.

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TLDR: Met a guy on tinder that I developed strong feelings for while in an 'open relationship'. Ended up cutting off contact with him, which I think killed our connection (although he's out of the country for 1. 5 more months and is probably seeing other people). But I had to stop talking to him because it was too conflicting while going through a breakup. What do I do next?

Submitted July 05, 2019 at 11:53PM

Hey reddit, I would love your opinion on the situation I've gotten myself in.​Two months ago, I met a guy on tinder while in an open relationship. I'm a female in my late 20s for reference. A few months ago, the spark with my (then) long-term boyfriend had fizzled a bit and we decided to go on a few dates, with all parties fully in the know about the circumstances. I ended up really liking the one guy I met on Tinder, which is so unexpected and unusual for me. I usually don't develop feelings for most guys, including dates I've gone on in the past. This has since motivated me to end my current relationship, which is actively happening but kind of slow because we have to find different places to live.​The tinder guy and I had originally met up with short-term FWB expectations. He was leaving to go back to his home country for the summer and we had a month. He also had a difficult breakup a few months before and wasn't interested in dating anyone. During this month, we hung out 4 times and really hit it off. Our 1st date was 3 hours of interesting and enjoyable conversation, then we hung out for 9 hours the next time, and then 2 more times after that.​During this time, we never had have sex and only had a couple makeout sessions. We also DM'd and texted quite a bit, every few days or so. He also wined and dined the hell out of me. Paid for meals, paid for drinks, chatted for hours - basically it was how you treat someone you're interested in dating. By the end of the month he mentioned a few times that he wanted to see me again when he got back. Although he said that he didn't care that I had a boyfriend, he also acted super weird every time my ex came up and at one point said he doesn't like being 2nd to my ex. On the other hand, he never said he liked me or anything, was adamant that this was not dating, but then acted really romantic, interested in everything about me, etc. It is so confusing. When we said goodbye in person, I told him that I can't hang out with him again unless I'm single, because of how conflicted this made me feel. He was like 'I can give you time' and 'I really want to see you again when I get back'​Either way, he left for his home country 1.5 months ago, and a few weeks after I ended up telling him that I couldn't talk for a few weeks because of the breakup I was going through. In retrospect this was not a great idea, but it was self-preservation. He was texting me frequently and it was making my feelings for him that much stronger, like I felt obsessed with him and it was heart-wrenching to feel like that WHILE still figuring out what to do in my current relationship (definitely not ever doing an open relationship again lol). So now, a month later, I hit him up again to say hi (and open the door to talking again if he was interested) and it was just absolutely crap conversation. This was after a few conversations where I felt like I was carrying the weight before I cut things off for a bit. I feel like it's over, but I really don't know.​Should I just forget about this guy? I still have strong feelings for him, but I have no idea if I came across as weird or needy, or if I seemed dishonest because I already had a boyfriend. Really curious to hear what your opinions are of this and how you would perceive me if you were in his shoes.​TLDR: Met a guy on tinder that I developed strong feelings for while in an 'open relationship'. Ended up cutting off contact with him, which I think killed our connection (although he's out of the country for 1. 5 more months and is probably seeing other people). But I had to stop talking to him because it was too conflicting while going through a breakup. What do I do next?