[F] I have no hope with dating and it's making me depressed

I'd like to preface this by stating that I feel absolutely pathetic asking this. I know it's most likely due to my personal perception as opposed to reality, but this has been going on for years and honestly, I'll take anything at this point.

Since the age of nine, I've been very hyper-aware of my physical appearance. When I was younger, I was frequently told I looked like a boy due to the fact my mum would often shave my head because she couldn't be bothered with combing out lice. This also prevented me from pursuing ballet, which I am now devastated by.

Despite this being a very brief period, it's always stuck with me, especially now since my chest is very flat and I've no curves. Whilst I'm aware that different guys have different preferences, that's somewhat difficult to believe when all of your friends, who happen to be big-chested, seem to get into relationships so effortlessly. It coincides, is what I'm trying to say.

My body isn't curvy in the right places and I've excess amounts of fat around my thighs, despite having a petite frame. It's something I'm very self-conscious of, though I digress. I don't have any socialising skills whatsoever, and so flirting to me consists of sitting across the room and giving my crushes subtle looks, hoping they'll initiate something. Naturally, it doesn't happen, as expected. The problem is, however, whenever I see their partners, there's this involuntary voice in my head that says, "Ah, that's why. It's because you're not good enough, and you'll never be good enough for anyone."

I haven't yet had my first kiss, and all boys I've encountered have called me ugly. Jesus, I wish I was exaggerating, but unfortunately I'm not. Whenever someone jokes about any boy and I dating in the presence of said boy, I go very red, shrink in on myself and prepare for the, "Ew, she's ugly," comment, which is all I've ever received.

I'd love to be confident, but that unfortunately isn't something I can get over night. It's sad because sometimes, when I'm laying in bed and hugging my pillow, I can't ever envision waking up next to someone else and it leaves me feeling so incredibly worthless, inferior, and unlovable.

I suppose there isn't a quick fix to this, is there?

Submitted June 05, 2019 at 12:16AM

I'd like to preface this by stating that I feel absolutely pathetic asking this. I know it's most likely due to my personal perception as opposed to reality, but this has been going on for years and honestly, I'll take anything at this point.Since the age of nine, I've been very hyper-aware of my physical appearance. When I was younger, I was frequently told I looked like a boy due to the fact my mum would often shave my head because she couldn't be bothered with combing out lice. This also prevented me from pursuing ballet, which I am now devastated by.Despite this being a very brief period, it's always stuck with me, especially now since my chest is very flat and I've no curves. Whilst I'm aware that different guys have different preferences, that's somewhat difficult to believe when all of your friends, who happen to be big-chested, seem to get into relationships so effortlessly. It coincides, is what I'm trying to say.My body isn't curvy in the right places and I've excess amounts of fat around my thighs, despite having a petite frame. It's something I'm very self-conscious of, though I digress. I don't have any socialising skills whatsoever, and so flirting to me consists of sitting across the room and giving my crushes subtle looks, hoping they'll initiate something. Naturally, it doesn't happen, as expected. The problem is, however, whenever I see their partners, there's this involuntary voice in my head that says, "Ah, that's why. It's because you're not good enough, and you'll never be good enough for anyone."I haven't yet had my first kiss, and all boys I've encountered have called me ugly. Jesus, I wish I was exaggerating, but unfortunately I'm not. Whenever someone jokes about any boy and I dating in the presence of said boy, I go very red, shrink in on myself and prepare for the, "Ew, she's ugly," comment, which is all I've ever received.I'd love to be confident, but that unfortunately isn't something I can get over night. It's sad because sometimes, when I'm laying in bed and hugging my pillow, I can't ever envision waking up next to someone else and it leaves me feeling so incredibly worthless, inferior, and unlovable.I suppose there isn't a quick fix to this, is there?