/u/stoyan_gp on Sometimes I wish that the Ace community would be more inclusive of non heteroromantic Aces

I am very sorry for your brother and what he had to endure. I very much sympathize with him as someone who grew up around my fair share of homophobia that even caused me to repress who I am as a gay man. Those are examples of why we need asexual acceptance that isn’t tainted with a homophobic bias.

I also completely understand where you are coming from with “straight ace” being an aphobic dogwhistle that targets and excludes het asexuals. I have met many an aphobic gay person in the gay and queer spaces I have occupied that use it in that way. And it was usually the same people who were aphobic to me as well.

I definitely misunderstood your use of “heteronormative”. I agree that cis het ace people can benefit from it similarly to how many bi people can in terms of straight-passing relationships and attractions.

I would say however that bi people do not have straight privilege in the way het aces do as well. There are experiences and situations in which whether or not you have an attraction for the same sex makes a difference. And unlike het cis asexuals, bi people cannot always “pass” because of their orientation.

Overall, I think it might be best for straight aces to actually reclaim the identity and label of “straight ace” from exclusionist aphobes in the queer community instead of burying your straightness under the rug as far as being among other LGBT+ people is concerned. I am more than willing to be an ally as an asexual gay man in that regard.

December 04, 2021 at 11:32PM