2 kids and 7 I'm 9 years later

I feal my SO sold me on someone she isn't. Sex is a l as large factor for my relationship. But I'm at a point that I am largely dissatisfied with with my relationship sexually. She has been divorced with someone that was largely toxic. And have had 2 kids with me. But her drive has completely disappeared. I inadvertently keep track of each occasion. The number of times having sex naturally logs into my brain. I have no control of this but it's been 32 yimes over 2 years (out first daughter) I respect her on many, many levels so I have a hard time expressing my physical needs to her. Not that I haven't expressed it, she is fully aware of my drive. I'd much rather suffer than to feel she had sex to appease my sex drive rather than having a good time because she wanted to. But it has begun to make me feel hollow as a person. I love her to death and our 2 kids but I'm at a point that I would feel better being faithful as a celibate monk. I don't want to force anything on her more do I want to force anything upon myself but after 10 years together I just recently realized how important a sex life is to me. It's a rock and a hard place. I love her to death but I am facing a dilemma as I love her to my very soul but due to abuse in a previous relationship and 2 pregnancy her drive has utterly disappeared.

I've known her for 20 years and dated as teens. At the end of our teens t life separated us and she contacted me after a divorce with a toxic husband. We basically hit it out of the park since then and have been happily living together but my sex drive outclasses hers by 10 fold. She has almost no interest except for making children. She sowed her wild oats before contacting me but I was single since her and never got to explore my sexuality.

I don't want to put my personal needs on her but I'm at a loss currently as I can't see myself with anyone else but I also can't live in a state of celibacy out of respect for her personal experiences sexually. We have discussed finding a FB for me but I can't imagine putting her through that kind of experience. Her family has indicated that I would be disowned for adultery but I don't think I can continue not having a sex life at all.

This is the woman I want in my life for life but the lack of sexual interaction is starting to mentally kill me. I haven't been able to cuddle going to sleep as my drive keeps me awake. At this point I can't even say the last time we had prolonged physical contact as my drive gets nuts and it prevents me from sleeping. But if we had consistent sex this isn't an issue.

This is a vent and advice seeking post so ignore or comment either way I'm happy to express my problems with others for sanities sake or hear thoughts on how to remedy my situation



Submitted December 15, 2021 at 01:57AM

I feal my SO sold me on someone she isn't. Sex is a l as large factor for my relationship. But I'm at a point that I am largely dissatisfied with with my relationship sexually. She has been divorced with someone that was largely toxic. And have had 2 kids with me. But her drive has completely disappeared. I inadvertently keep track of each occasion. The number of times having sex naturally logs into my brain. I have no control of this but it's been 32 yimes over 2 years (out first daughter) I respect her on many, many levels so I have a hard time expressing my physical needs to her. Not that I haven't expressed it, she is fully aware of my drive. I'd much rather suffer than to feel she had sex to appease my sex drive rather than having a good time because she wanted to. But it has begun to make me feel hollow as a person. I love her to death and our 2 kids but I'm at a point that I would feel better being faithful as a celibate monk. I don't want to force anything on her more do I want to force anything upon myself but after 10 years together I just recently realized how important a sex life is to me. It's a rock and a hard place. I love her to death but I am facing a dilemma as I love her to my very soul but due to abuse in a previous relationship and 2 pregnancy her drive has utterly disappeared.I've known her for 20 years and dated as teens. At the end of our teens t life separated us and she contacted me after a divorce with a toxic husband. We basically hit it out of the park since then and have been happily living together but my sex drive outclasses hers by 10 fold. She has almost no interest except for making children. She sowed her wild oats before contacting me but I was single since her and never got to explore my sexuality.I don't want to put my personal needs on her but I'm at a loss currently as I can't see myself with anyone else but I also can't live in a state of celibacy out of respect for her personal experiences sexually. We have discussed finding a FB for me but I can't imagine putting her through that kind of experience. Her family has indicated that I would be disowned for adultery but I don't think I can continue not having a sex life at all.This is the woman I want in my life for life but the lack of sexual interaction is starting to mentally kill me. I haven't been able to cuddle going to sleep as my drive keeps me awake. At this point I can't even say the last time we had prolonged physical contact as my drive gets nuts and it prevents me from sleeping. But if we had consistent sex this isn't an issue.This is a vent and advice seeking post so ignore or comment either way I'm happy to express my problems with others for sanities sake or hear thoughts on how to remedy my situation
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