To my fellow black men, got some things on my mind

Why is it that the more darker side of us (being a thug, gangsta, criminal) more attractive to our women? It's like being raised to be the opposite of that makes us invisible. I've been in a professional career for the past 6 years (I'm 28) and I fought hard to get out of the messed up environments a lot of us come from. I was always told we live on the hood, of course a majority of women are gonna go with that type of guy, if you are not that type of guy, get out of here, relocate, get a career that's professional, and not only will your life change, but your dating experience as well.

So I was like okay cool, all the girls I liked back home, every last ond of them and I literally mean every last one, went for thugs, gangsters, drug dealers, killers, I mean as hood and street as they could get them. My das was that type of guy, which is why I've grown up without him, he's still currently in prison. He told me to be better, do better, he did his dirt and he's paying for it, don't be the same as him.

Even currently, I still seek to have a black wife, a black family, I'm not in that type of environment anymore, haven't been for 6 years, yet even the professional black women in my career field still date these types of guys. I know the hottest new black show on tv is BMF, and constantly here them saying Meech is fine, sexy, and that he's a real you know what. Another said damn that's my type right there. I can't help but feel like damn, do I not qualify for my black women these days?

I've always been one step behind those types of black men when dating black women, I'll admit, the hood has rubbed off on me in some ways, but I've never been a hardcore street type of guy and it's like even if I'm not that guy, they want me to at least bring that type of energy, and I can't help but feel like I'm doomed if I don't change something.

I was also told that those types of black men are considered the alphas in our community which why a majority of the time you will see a black woman either in a relationship that type, have that type as an ex, or has had kids by that type.

Submitted November 05, 2021 at 12:15AM

Why is it that the more darker side of us (being a thug, gangsta, criminal) more attractive to our women? It's like being raised to be the opposite of that makes us invisible. I've been in a professional career for the past 6 years (I'm 28) and I fought hard to get out of the messed up environments a lot of us come from. I was always told we live on the hood, of course a majority of women are gonna go with that type of guy, if you are not that type of guy, get out of here, relocate, get a career that's professional, and not only will your life change, but your dating experience as well.So I was like okay cool, all the girls I liked back home, every last ond of them and I literally mean every last one, went for thugs, gangsters, drug dealers, killers, I mean as hood and street as they could get them. My das was that type of guy, which is why I've grown up without him, he's still currently in prison. He told me to be better, do better, he did his dirt and he's paying for it, don't be the same as him.Even currently, I still seek to have a black wife, a black family, I'm not in that type of environment anymore, haven't been for 6 years, yet even the professional black women in my career field still date these types of guys. I know the hottest new black show on tv is BMF, and constantly here them saying Meech is fine, sexy, and that he's a real you know what. Another said damn that's my type right there. I can't help but feel like damn, do I not qualify for my black women these days?I've always been one step behind those types of black men when dating black women, I'll admit, the hood has rubbed off on me in some ways, but I've never been a hardcore street type of guy and it's like even if I'm not that guy, they want me to at least bring that type of energy, and I can't help but feel like I'm doomed if I don't change something.I was also told that those types of black men are considered the alphas in our community which why a majority of the time you will see a black woman either in a relationship that type, have that type as an ex, or has had kids by that type.