Recently I explained "after-care" to my boyfriend and he got a bit upset

So I explained the term to him, it was a light hearted conversation and I didn't think much of it.

Since then I have noticed that he's been particularly good with spooning and cuddling after sex and he will often joke "is this classified as "after care"' and I'll say yep. Happy days.

Its come up a few times since, but the other night we had a similar talk and I could tell it was bothering him. He said "you needing after care implies that I'm taking advantage of you or doing something to you as opposed to you wanting it" I said, I don't mean it like that... I absolutely do want it.

And we ended up going around in circles a bit. I found it hard to explain why I needed it and he found it hard to understand why he needed to provide some sort of soothing after what he would describe as "love making" which is closeness in itself?



Submitted November 05, 2021 at 12:54AM

So I explained the term to him, it was a light hearted conversation and I didn't think much of it.Since then I have noticed that he's been particularly good with spooning and cuddling after sex and he will often joke "is this classified as "after care"' and I'll say yep. Happy days.Its come up a few times since, but the other night we had a similar talk and I could tell it was bothering him. He said "you needing after care implies that I'm taking advantage of you or doing something to you as opposed to you wanting it" I said, I don't mean it like that... I absolutely do want it.And we ended up going around in circles a bit. I found it hard to explain why I needed it and he found it hard to understand why he needed to provide some sort of soothing after what he would describe as "love making" which is closeness in itself?
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