My girlfriend has a hard time orgasming because it's too intense and building it up steadily seems impossible. Need help :(

So everytime I play with her clit, even with the slightest touch it'll feel really good to her but soon cause these jolts of "pleasure" that are just too intense and not pleasurable. She says it's just not pleasurable to have that roller coaster of sensation compared to a steady build-up which she says is the only way she orgasmed the last time I did it for her.

Granted, she was a virgin before meeting me and I'm her first boyfriend so she has no prior experience. I've made her orgasm twice so far but it was on the same day and within 5 minutes of each other; I was just using my finger to play with her clit. That day consisted of lots of foreplay, oral on both sides, and then fingering her clit like I was practically digging for gold (we weren't even having sex then). However, now even the slightest pressure causes those occasional jolts that don't actually feel good when not at her actual climax which I can't even reach because the jolts start so early. However, it's been months of this too-intense thing and she hasn't orgasmed since because it always gets ruined a few minutes in when she's had too many jolts of intensity.

I've tried going down on her many times but it's the same scenario. If I stay off the clit and focus on her vulva and stuff, it's not enough sensation to cause any build-up. Sex also feels incredible to her as she says but she says it kinda just makes her feel amazing but not to the level of actual orgasm regardless of how fast/hard I'm going. We only recently started having sex though so there's a lot more to try here. Also, I'm a big fan of long, drawn-out foreplay (starting with texts hours ahead, dirty talk, being dominating, etc.) and just getting her so aroused that she's literally begging for it, so I don't think it's an arousal/foreplay problem. (Don't take that the wrong way haha; just for the purpose of turning her on because I love pleasuring her.)

Anyway, I have various ideas to try in the future but I wanted to know if anyone had experience with this and could give some potentially good solutions to save us from many more months of experimenting? For example, maybe the answer is going mega slow on her clit, or maybe I need to focus more on the G-spot, or even the A/P spot? The only thing is that I've already made her orgasm twice like I said in that 5 minute time period that one day so I really don't know how the exact same thing isn't working. I would love all the advice you can give me :)

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P.S. I thought it might be too much foreplay making her too sensitive but I tried barely any or a medium amount and that changed nothing. Also this has been happening for months regardless of if she's menstruating, ovulating, and everything in between.

Submitted November 05, 2021 at 12:50AM

So everytime I play with her clit, even with the slightest touch it'll feel really good to her but soon cause these jolts of "pleasure" that are just too intense and not pleasurable. She says it's just not pleasurable to have that roller coaster of sensation compared to a steady build-up which she says is the only way she orgasmed the last time I did it for her.Granted, she was a virgin before meeting me and I'm her first boyfriend so she has no prior experience. I've made her orgasm twice so far but it was on the same day and within 5 minutes of each other; I was just using my finger to play with her clit. That day consisted of lots of foreplay, oral on both sides, and then fingering her clit like I was practically digging for gold (we weren't even having sex then). However, now even the slightest pressure causes those occasional jolts that don't actually feel good when not at her actual climax which I can't even reach because the jolts start so early. However, it's been months of this too-intense thing and she hasn't orgasmed since because it always gets ruined a few minutes in when she's had too many jolts of intensity.I've tried going down on her many times but it's the same scenario. If I stay off the clit and focus on her vulva and stuff, it's not enough sensation to cause any build-up. Sex also feels incredible to her as she says but she says it kinda just makes her feel amazing but not to the level of actual orgasm regardless of how fast/hard I'm going. We only recently started having sex though so there's a lot more to try here. Also, I'm a big fan of long, drawn-out foreplay (starting with texts hours ahead, dirty talk, being dominating, etc.) and just getting her so aroused that she's literally begging for it, so I don't think it's an arousal/foreplay problem. (Don't take that the wrong way haha; just for the purpose of turning her on because I love pleasuring her.)Anyway, I have various ideas to try in the future but I wanted to know if anyone had experience with this and could give some potentially good solutions to save us from many more months of experimenting? For example, maybe the answer is going mega slow on her clit, or maybe I need to focus more on the G-spot, or even the A/P spot? The only thing is that I've already made her orgasm twice like I said in that 5 minute time period that one day so I really don't know how the exact same thing isn't working. I would love all the advice you can give me :)​P.S. I thought it might be too much foreplay making her too sensitive but I tried barely any or a medium amount and that changed nothing. Also this has been happening for months regardless of if she's menstruating, ovulating, and everything in between.