Am I being ghosted?

I'm sure this is a very popular question on this sub, bit I feel like I need to talk about my expiernce.

I recently started dating again for the first time in about 4 years. The reason why I stopped dating and having relationships is because I was tired of being ghosted and used, so I wanted to enjoy some solitude and focus on myself.

This guy (the one I think is currently ghosting me) and I have been flirting for a while. We work together, but not for the same company, just on the same project. Plenty of banter, fun conversations, laughs and just all round good times, on or off the clock. Before the project really started to ramp up, he would take some time our of his day to come over and talk for a while. It was awesome, and our friendship grew to the point where we could talk about our histories. After the project was in full swing, he became much busier and I was moved to another location, which was totally expected and properly accepted.

About 3 weeks ago, I was having a rough time and he made time to come out to visit me and talk with me. He told me that he was coming to give me a hug to make me feel better, he made it clear that he didn't like hearing me so distressed. He arrives, and gives me plenty of meaningful hugs that turned into well-intended and needed kisses. We spent about an hour together, with him telling me that he's liked me for a long time. He asked me if I would be comfortable hearing more about where he was coming from, and I said yes, but he wanted to tell me another time. We parted ways, and the next day he sent me a good morning text.

2 weeks ago, we made time together, and it went late into the night. Full privacy, but no sex at all. That night we talked more about past relationships and got really deep into a great conversation. It was almost like he was reading me like a book, and we made an effort to ensure we were on the same page. Nearing the end of the night, he asked me if "I liked where I fell", as in if I am comfortable with him; and asked what we "were", as in our relationship status. I didn't want to say boyfriend/girlfriend, just exclusive to each other because I was entirely nervous about diving into a new relationship that has defined titles because of my previous unhealthy relationships. We parted ways, and the next morning he sent another good morning text.

This week, he spent the night at my room. I am unable to have sex due to a recent medical procedure, something that he is aware of, and came over with the idea we were just going to sleep because it was late and we both had to work. Things got really intimate, and I wanted to give him something, because I wanted to give him pleasure and feel that connection with him. I could see that his work phone distracted him, and we mutually agreed that we were both tired and he wanted to cuddle. We both fell asleep right away, despite being on a single-sized mattress.

I called him later the next evening, but couldn't chat long because he was driving someone for something related to his job. I eventually spoke with him the next day, and he stated he wanted to spend some more time cuddling that night. That night, I asked if we could cuddle, but I received no response. The next night, I asked again, but he had job-related responsibilities and couldn't make it. I eventually found this to be corroborated by another collegue, who is unaware of the new relationship. Yesterday morning, I sent him a flirty emoji, and received no response. Today I called him in the morning and in the evening, and he didn't answer and still have yet to receive a response.

I haven't dated in a long time, so I don't really know how to date or to "relationship". So, I don't know what dating is like nowadays. But I do know what it means to be ghosted, and what it looks like. In fact, the patterns are very similar at this point. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, as most of my friends are through my job, and I'm not wanting to low-key violate my own company's policy and put the word out. Or seem like a duped sucker or gullible person.

Am I losing my mind and overthinking this? What should I do? What can I do? It's just such a shitty feeling.

Submitted December 01, 2021 at 12:15AM

I'm sure this is a very popular question on this sub, bit I feel like I need to talk about my expiernce.I recently started dating again for the first time in about 4 years. The reason why I stopped dating and having relationships is because I was tired of being ghosted and used, so I wanted to enjoy some solitude and focus on myself.This guy (the one I think is currently ghosting me) and I have been flirting for a while. We work together, but not for the same company, just on the same project. Plenty of banter, fun conversations, laughs and just all round good times, on or off the clock. Before the project really started to ramp up, he would take some time our of his day to come over and talk for a while. It was awesome, and our friendship grew to the point where we could talk about our histories. After the project was in full swing, he became much busier and I was moved to another location, which was totally expected and properly accepted.About 3 weeks ago, I was having a rough time and he made time to come out to visit me and talk with me. He told me that he was coming to give me a hug to make me feel better, he made it clear that he didn't like hearing me so distressed. He arrives, and gives me plenty of meaningful hugs that turned into well-intended and needed kisses. We spent about an hour together, with him telling me that he's liked me for a long time. He asked me if I would be comfortable hearing more about where he was coming from, and I said yes, but he wanted to tell me another time. We parted ways, and the next day he sent me a good morning text.2 weeks ago, we made time together, and it went late into the night. Full privacy, but no sex at all. That night we talked more about past relationships and got really deep into a great conversation. It was almost like he was reading me like a book, and we made an effort to ensure we were on the same page. Nearing the end of the night, he asked me if "I liked where I fell", as in if I am comfortable with him; and asked what we "were", as in our relationship status. I didn't want to say boyfriend/girlfriend, just exclusive to each other because I was entirely nervous about diving into a new relationship that has defined titles because of my previous unhealthy relationships. We parted ways, and the next morning he sent another good morning text.This week, he spent the night at my room. I am unable to have sex due to a recent medical procedure, something that he is aware of, and came over with the idea we were just going to sleep because it was late and we both had to work. Things got really intimate, and I wanted to give him something, because I wanted to give him pleasure and feel that connection with him. I could see that his work phone distracted him, and we mutually agreed that we were both tired and he wanted to cuddle. We both fell asleep right away, despite being on a single-sized mattress.I called him later the next evening, but couldn't chat long because he was driving someone for something related to his job. I eventually spoke with him the next day, and he stated he wanted to spend some more time cuddling that night. That night, I asked if we could cuddle, but I received no response. The next night, I asked again, but he had job-related responsibilities and couldn't make it. I eventually found this to be corroborated by another collegue, who is unaware of the new relationship. Yesterday morning, I sent him a flirty emoji, and received no response. Today I called him in the morning and in the evening, and he didn't answer and still have yet to receive a response.I haven't dated in a long time, so I don't really know how to date or to "relationship". So, I don't know what dating is like nowadays. But I do know what it means to be ghosted, and what it looks like. In fact, the patterns are very similar at this point. I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, as most of my friends are through my job, and I'm not wanting to low-key violate my own company's policy and put the word out. Or seem like a duped sucker or gullible person.Am I losing my mind and overthinking this? What should I do? What can I do? It's just such a shitty feeling.