Should I end things with a guy I really really like?

I (27F) just started talking to this guy (30M) about three weeks ago and we met irl a week and a half ago. When we first met, we hung out three nights in a row and I slept over twice. I was smitten to say the very least. We both were. I don’t click with people very easily but it’s effortless with him. The sex is great, his friends like me, we have a ton in common, I mean I could go on and on. BUT he’s not the most reliable. He’s a musician so he’s in the studio late at night, so our schedules tend to conflict. Last week, we hung out on Sunday and I slept over and left Monday morning. We agreed that we’d see each other before the weekend. He mentioned a day or two that might work for him because his schedule is kinda weird. Well that never happened. I would hint at seeing him and he would talk about how busy his day was. He told me we’ll just play it by ear, and that ended in us not seeing each other until the following Monday….a week later. When we hung out again, I made my expectations very clear. We don’t have to talk all day every day, but I do expect some sort of good morning and good night text/call. I also don’t like to “play things by ear”. I like to make plans and stick to them because I have a very busy work schedule and usually have a fairly busy social schedule too. He agreed and said he’ll make more of an effort to do these things.

So long story short, on Monday he said that he wanted to see me again during the week and that Wednesday (today) works for him. I get off work early today and text him asking what time he wants me to come over. He doesn’t reply which isn’t unusual because I know he’s busy in the studio. He tells me to always call him if he doesn’t respond so I wait about an hour and a half, take a shower and do my makeup, and then call him. He answers right away and we briefly talk about our days. He then tells me that he can’t hang out tonight because he’s busy in the studio. I’m annoyed obviously and kind of keep it short with him. He apologizes and tell me “Friday for sure”. He also tells me he’ll call me again later tonight to say goodnight.

I’m torn here. To me, this is a red flag. Dropping the ball and being flaky this early in a relationship makes me wonder what he’d be like 6 months from now. Or a year from now. I understand we’re all adults and we’re all busy, but this just seems ridiculous to me. I mean if I hadn’t called him, would he just have let he sit around for a couple more hours waiting on him?

Am I overreacting? A part of me wonders if I’m being too harsh. After all, I’m not his girlfriend. I can’t expect to be a priority right off the bat. Another thought I have is that he’s just not that into me. But the way he acts around me tell me otherwise. What do y’all think? Cut him off or give him another chance?

Submitted October 21, 2021 at 12:06AM

I (27F) just started talking to this guy (30M) about three weeks ago and we met irl a week and a half ago. When we first met, we hung out three nights in a row and I slept over twice. I was smitten to say the very least. We both were. I don’t click with people very easily but it’s effortless with him. The sex is great, his friends like me, we have a ton in common, I mean I could go on and on. BUT he’s not the most reliable. He’s a musician so he’s in the studio late at night, so our schedules tend to conflict. Last week, we hung out on Sunday and I slept over and left Monday morning. We agreed that we’d see each other before the weekend. He mentioned a day or two that might work for him because his schedule is kinda weird. Well that never happened. I would hint at seeing him and he would talk about how busy his day was. He told me we’ll just play it by ear, and that ended in us not seeing each other until the following Monday….a week later. When we hung out again, I made my expectations very clear. We don’t have to talk all day every day, but I do expect some sort of good morning and good night text/call. I also don’t like to “play things by ear”. I like to make plans and stick to them because I have a very busy work schedule and usually have a fairly busy social schedule too. He agreed and said he’ll make more of an effort to do these things.So long story short, on Monday he said that he wanted to see me again during the week and that Wednesday (today) works for him. I get off work early today and text him asking what time he wants me to come over. He doesn’t reply which isn’t unusual because I know he’s busy in the studio. He tells me to always call him if he doesn’t respond so I wait about an hour and a half, take a shower and do my makeup, and then call him. He answers right away and we briefly talk about our days. He then tells me that he can’t hang out tonight because he’s busy in the studio. I’m annoyed obviously and kind of keep it short with him. He apologizes and tell me “Friday for sure”. He also tells me he’ll call me again later tonight to say goodnight.I’m torn here. To me, this is a red flag. Dropping the ball and being flaky this early in a relationship makes me wonder what he’d be like 6 months from now. Or a year from now. I understand we’re all adults and we’re all busy, but this just seems ridiculous to me. I mean if I hadn’t called him, would he just have let he sit around for a couple more hours waiting on him?Am I overreacting? A part of me wonders if I’m being too harsh. After all, I’m not his girlfriend. I can’t expect to be a priority right off the bat. Another thought I have is that he’s just not that into me. But the way he acts around me tell me otherwise. What do y’all think? Cut him off or give him another chance?