Does attraction matter?

I'm 22 and I feel like I shouldn't care about butterflies or being excited by someone. Passion fades, but a person's true character doesn't deviate much, right? Surely most people scrape the fun part and pick someone whose practical in the end, right?

Been dating a lovely guy my age for the last 5 weeks. We're exclusive. He's a good person. I swear all my exes have been crappy or walking red flags and I've left. Or the few decent/lacking red flags men weren't interested in me after a while. Initially I did have some attraction. But he does so many things that make me go ick and turn me off. Loads of quirks that drive me nuts. Like super loud chewing. Or smacking lip smacking noises. Or saying random things in a baby voice. He isn't in terrible shape, but maybe like 20/30lbs overweight and it's exclusively in his belly. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't wear clothes that used to fit him like 2 years ago. Wears these old tees with holes and cling to his tummy, makes him look bigger than he is. And I'm not being hypocritical here, I'm a size 0/2. I've noticed he has gunk in his belly button twice while we were intimate and for whatever reason it completely turned me off and whenever I think of it I feel yuck. I do enjoy his company though and would be sad to say goodbye but I just don't feel attracted to him. Does attraction matter?



Submitted October 21, 2021 at 01:03AM

I'm 22 and I feel like I shouldn't care about butterflies or being excited by someone. Passion fades, but a person's true character doesn't deviate much, right? Surely most people scrape the fun part and pick someone whose practical in the end, right?Been dating a lovely guy my age for the last 5 weeks. We're exclusive. He's a good person. I swear all my exes have been crappy or walking red flags and I've left. Or the few decent/lacking red flags men weren't interested in me after a while. Initially I did have some attraction. But he does so many things that make me go ick and turn me off. Loads of quirks that drive me nuts. Like super loud chewing. Or smacking lip smacking noises. Or saying random things in a baby voice. He isn't in terrible shape, but maybe like 20/30lbs overweight and it's exclusively in his belly. It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't wear clothes that used to fit him like 2 years ago. Wears these old tees with holes and cling to his tummy, makes him look bigger than he is. And I'm not being hypocritical here, I'm a size 0/2. I've noticed he has gunk in his belly button twice while we were intimate and for whatever reason it completely turned me off and whenever I think of it I feel yuck. I do enjoy his company though and would be sad to say goodbye but I just don't feel attracted to him. Does attraction matter?
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