Sexual Intimacy Issues with Girlfriend

I (24M) have been dating my girlfriend (19F) for a few months now. We met at our office. She had a crush on me. She asked me out. We went on a few dates and eventually got into a relationship.

Now, this is the first relationship for her. She's just had distant crushes before. Whereas I've been in both serious and casual relationships before. Our kiss was the first ever kiss for her of her life.

Initially she used to tell me after our first kiss that she was scared. Eventually she started trusting me more and felt safe with my touches.

We haven't had sex( and I've never forced or pressured her). We've just discussed it.

We've gone till the third base (fingering+oral) but we stopped afterwards due to various reasons (lack of time/circumstances etc) But she used to tease me around that if we get enough time "she'll know she'll end up wanting to have sex" or she teases me like "I thought you'll go further".

She comes from a conservative family and our nation in general has a taboo attached to sex and women's virginity in general.

She has told her parents about me and they're fine with us dating. However, last week, her mother discussed with her "Whether you've done something with your boyfriend" and proceeded to give a talk about how "it's not the right age, etc".

Now frankly I've never made my girlfriend feel uncomfortable or do something which I know she doesn't feel comfortable.

However, I've gotten enough hints that she was sexually willing. However, after the talk with her mother she started having doubts. Not just for sex but even for things we've already done before (fingering etc).

She tells me she still loves it but she's trying to curb those thoughts.

I've been trying to tell her "Do what makes you comfortable but also don't start thinking these are bad just because elders tell us". I love her and have no intention to force her or ditch her.

However, the fear of Sexual Intimacy, if stretched, might cause issues. Specially if she has second thoughts on stuff we've already done. I'll be fine if she doesn't want to do it because she doesn't like it. However, forcing to not do it because parents think it's wrong causes issues.

How should I balance this issue? I want to make a fine between telling her to trust her gut on what she feels comfortable and not forcefully stop herself while not coming off as someone who is talking his way to get into the bed (because I'll always want something fun done consensually).

When she does meet me, she says she can't stop herself from touching me but her mother's thoughts start making her doubt her morals.

Would time be able to sort things out?

tl;dr:- Girlfriend has sexual intimacy issues after her mother said these things are bad.

Submitted October 31, 2021 at 12:03AM

I (24M) have been dating my girlfriend (19F) for a few months now. We met at our office. She had a crush on me. She asked me out. We went on a few dates and eventually got into a relationship.Now, this is the first relationship for her. She's just had distant crushes before. Whereas I've been in both serious and casual relationships before. Our kiss was the first ever kiss for her of her life.Initially she used to tell me after our first kiss that she was scared. Eventually she started trusting me more and felt safe with my touches.We haven't had sex( and I've never forced or pressured her). We've just discussed it.We've gone till the third base (fingering+oral) but we stopped afterwards due to various reasons (lack of time/circumstances etc) But she used to tease me around that if we get enough time "she'll know she'll end up wanting to have sex" or she teases me like "I thought you'll go further".She comes from a conservative family and our nation in general has a taboo attached to sex and women's virginity in general.She has told her parents about me and they're fine with us dating. However, last week, her mother discussed with her "Whether you've done something with your boyfriend" and proceeded to give a talk about how "it's not the right age, etc".Now frankly I've never made my girlfriend feel uncomfortable or do something which I know she doesn't feel comfortable.However, I've gotten enough hints that she was sexually willing. However, after the talk with her mother she started having doubts. Not just for sex but even for things we've already done before (fingering etc).She tells me she still loves it but she's trying to curb those thoughts.I've been trying to tell her "Do what makes you comfortable but also don't start thinking these are bad just because elders tell us". I love her and have no intention to force her or ditch her.However, the fear of Sexual Intimacy, if stretched, might cause issues. Specially if she has second thoughts on stuff we've already done. I'll be fine if she doesn't want to do it because she doesn't like it. However, forcing to not do it because parents think it's wrong causes issues.How should I balance this issue? I want to make a fine between telling her to trust her gut on what she feels comfortable and not forcefully stop herself while not coming off as someone who is talking his way to get into the bed (because I'll always want something fun done consensually).When she does meet me, she says she can't stop herself from touching me but her mother's thoughts start making her doubt her morals.Would time be able to sort things out?tl;dr:- Girlfriend has sexual intimacy issues after her mother said these things are bad.