Journey over destination

Death grip syndrome turned into one of the best things to happen to me.

Been together with my wife 20 years. At some point she was out of commission for nearly 6 months. During which I had an uptick in libido. After several months of working it a bit too roughly, she was finally able to start participating again. Turned out I was no longer able to orgasm from her and this caused some frustration on her part for a while, having to see me take over afterwards. Made her kind of hesitant.

I finally decided to make it perfectly clear. I enjoyed having sex with her regardless. Convinced her to stop worrying about having me orgasm. That's when I had the idea of a challenge. I told her that if she was willing to regularly have some amount of sex, didn't matter how much, that I would abstain from masturbation. Something had to eventually give, right?

This turned out to be the best thing ever for us. Not only did it take all of the stress out starting sex, but it gave her a kind of challenge. This quickly snowballed into a kind of kink for her. She was complaining about how distracted she was at work thinking about how aroused I was having not finished.

This changed the concept of sex from "I want to get off" to "I want to be physically intimate with you".

This turned into a wonderfully horrible feedback loop for the both of us. Sometimes I got off, sometimes I didn't. When I didn't, it made her want to get me off. And vice versa. It also reduce the pressure of needing to get off because you know the other person is raring to jump at the first opportunity. Not to mention that there's something sexy about the other person purposefully not getting off just so they can rub it in your face how horny they still are and how much they need to release. "Hurts so good". So much sexting during work breaks.

I just wanted to share my story since it changed the way both of us think about and approach sex in general.



Submitted October 23, 2021 at 12:19AM

Death grip syndrome turned into one of the best things to happen to me.Been together with my wife 20 years. At some point she was out of commission for nearly 6 months. During which I had an uptick in libido. After several months of working it a bit too roughly, she was finally able to start participating again. Turned out I was no longer able to orgasm from her and this caused some frustration on her part for a while, having to see me take over afterwards. Made her kind of hesitant.I finally decided to make it perfectly clear. I enjoyed having sex with her regardless. Convinced her to stop worrying about having me orgasm. That's when I had the idea of a challenge. I told her that if she was willing to regularly have some amount of sex, didn't matter how much, that I would abstain from masturbation. Something had to eventually give, right?This turned out to be the best thing ever for us. Not only did it take all of the stress out starting sex, but it gave her a kind of challenge. This quickly snowballed into a kind of kink for her. She was complaining about how distracted she was at work thinking about how aroused I was having not finished.This changed the concept of sex from "I want to get off" to "I want to be physically intimate with you".This turned into a wonderfully horrible feedback loop for the both of us. Sometimes I got off, sometimes I didn't. When I didn't, it made her want to get me off. And vice versa. It also reduce the pressure of needing to get off because you know the other person is raring to jump at the first opportunity. Not to mention that there's something sexy about the other person purposefully not getting off just so they can rub it in your face how horny they still are and how much they need to release. "Hurts so good". So much sexting during work breaks.I just wanted to share my story since it changed the way both of us think about and approach sex in general.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more