Journey over destination

Death grip syndrome turned into one of the best things to happen to me.

Been together with my wife 20 years. At some point she was out of commission for nearly 6 months. During which I had an uptick in libido. After several months of working it a bit too roughly, she was finally able to start participating again. Turned out I was no longer able to orgasm from her and this caused some frustration on her part for a while, having to see me take over afterwards. Made her kind of hesitant.

I finally decided to make it perfectly clear. I enjoyed having sex with her regardless. Convinced her to stop worrying about having me orgasm. That's when I had the idea of a challenge. I told her that if she was willing to regularly have some amount of sex, didn't matter how much, that I would abstain from masturbation. Something had to eventually give, right?

This turned out to be the best thing ever for us. Not only did it take all of the stress out starting sex, but it gave her a kind of challenge. This quickly snowballed into a kind of kink for her. She was complaining about how distracted she was at work thinking about how aroused I was having not finished.

This changed the concept of sex from "I want to get off" to "I want to be physically intimate with you".

This turned into a wonderfully horrible feedback loop for the both of us. Sometimes I got off, sometimes I didn't. When I didn't, it made her want to get me off. And vice versa. It also reduce the pressure of needing to get off because you know the other person is raring to jump at the first opportunity. Not to mention that there's something sexy about the other person purposefully not getting off just so they can rub it in your face how horny they still are and how much they need to release. "Hurts so good". So much sexting during work breaks.

I just wanted to share my story since it changed the way both of us think about and approach sex in general.



Submitted October 23, 2021 at 12:19AM

Death grip syndrome turned into one of the best things to happen to me.Been together with my wife 20 years. At some point she was out of commission for nearly 6 months. During which I had an uptick in libido. After several months of working it a bit too roughly, she was finally able to start participating again. Turned out I was no longer able to orgasm from her and this caused some frustration on her part for a while, having to see me take over afterwards. Made her kind of hesitant.I finally decided to make it perfectly clear. I enjoyed having sex with her regardless. Convinced her to stop worrying about having me orgasm. That's when I had the idea of a challenge. I told her that if she was willing to regularly have some amount of sex, didn't matter how much, that I would abstain from masturbation. Something had to eventually give, right?This turned out to be the best thing ever for us. Not only did it take all of the stress out starting sex, but it gave her a kind of challenge. This quickly snowballed into a kind of kink for her. She was complaining about how distracted she was at work thinking about how aroused I was having not finished.This changed the concept of sex from "I want to get off" to "I want to be physically intimate with you".This turned into a wonderfully horrible feedback loop for the both of us. Sometimes I got off, sometimes I didn't. When I didn't, it made her want to get me off. And vice versa. It also reduce the pressure of needing to get off because you know the other person is raring to jump at the first opportunity. Not to mention that there's something sexy about the other person purposefully not getting off just so they can rub it in your face how horny they still are and how much they need to release. "Hurts so good". So much sexting during work breaks.I just wanted to share my story since it changed the way both of us think about and approach sex in general.
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