I feel undesirable and lonely (F22) (F26)

My girlfriend doesn’t have sex with me as much anymore. She doesn’t even let me offer one sided favors much anymore either. We are poly but I haven’t been with someone else since before the pandemic, and before then I thought I was bi. Men were so easy, and even though the thought of sex with men repulses me now, I’m so lonely and intimacy starved that I almost consider being drunk and sleeping with one just to feel sexually desired. I won’t do that I don’t think, but it’s all I knew how to do when I needed intimacy in the past. I miss her looking at me the way she used to. I miss not having to ask for sex and then maybe probably not get a yes. She says there’s nothing wrong with me and I want to believe it, but I can’t be sure. It feels like we are failing each other. I have mental health issues and this has sent me into suicidal thoughts more than weekly. Im a really sex positive person and now talking about sex at all makes me feel perverted and awful. I just cried after an orgasm alone. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t even think I want advice, I just need to rant and feel sad to get it out I guess. Maybe I need to know if it’s normal or not. I feel so disgusting



Submitted October 23, 2021 at 12:24AM

My girlfriend doesn’t have sex with me as much anymore. She doesn’t even let me offer one sided favors much anymore either. We are poly but I haven’t been with someone else since before the pandemic, and before then I thought I was bi. Men were so easy, and even though the thought of sex with men repulses me now, I’m so lonely and intimacy starved that I almost consider being drunk and sleeping with one just to feel sexually desired. I won’t do that I don’t think, but it’s all I knew how to do when I needed intimacy in the past. I miss her looking at me the way she used to. I miss not having to ask for sex and then maybe probably not get a yes. She says there’s nothing wrong with me and I want to believe it, but I can’t be sure. It feels like we are failing each other. I have mental health issues and this has sent me into suicidal thoughts more than weekly. Im a really sex positive person and now talking about sex at all makes me feel perverted and awful. I just cried after an orgasm alone. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t even think I want advice, I just need to rant and feel sad to get it out I guess. Maybe I need to know if it’s normal or not. I feel so disgusting
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