Worried that my friend is being raped for the sake of being in a relationship

I have a friend who has serious co-dependency issues and problems with loneliness and desperation, and feels she needs a bf in order to gain personal fulfillment. She keeps going on dating apps without even having standards of any kind and flirting sexually with guys she doesn't even know and practically begging them to come have sex with her.

Whenever a guy comes and meets up with her though she says she doesn't actually want sex, she just wants a normal date and it is always so clear that is lying about her intentions just to get them to show up to meet her because she feels there is no other way to get them to like her unless she does this. The guys she meets up with then always question why she lied to get them to show up, and insist that they have sex with her when she is reluctant to do so.

Even though she says no initially to them asking for sex from her because that is initially what she seemed so clear on doing with them, she always caves and lets them have sex with her because she feels that is what she needs to do to get them to like her. It never works out though as they just leave her right after they have sex because she seems so desperate and clingy and she just ends up getting hurt by doing this.

Is it fair to say that these guys are coercing her into sex even though not one of them have actually threatened or really forced her into anything, they have only been insistent when she initially says no to them? I mean they have never given her an ultimatum like they never said 'do it or else', they just want her to deliver on her word that she was going to have sex with them.

Is it fair to say she is being raped by these guys when she keeps letting them violate her like this because she is pressuring herself to do it in the hopes they will like her? I mean she doesn't really want to have sex with them, she just accepts that she needs to do it for their approval of her and she never even tries to resist them in any way or tell them to stop while they have sex.

So is it fair to say she is being raped and coerced into sex when it is by her own personal ultimatum to let them use her in the hopes of gaining a relationship out of it and not by the threat or blackmail of any guy? I feel like this is a grey area in terms of consent and its a tough situation to know for sure.

Submitted September 18, 2021 at 02:41AM

I have a friend who has serious co-dependency issues and problems with loneliness and desperation, and feels she needs a bf in order to gain personal fulfillment. She keeps going on dating apps without even having standards of any kind and flirting sexually with guys she doesn't even know and practically begging them to come have sex with her.Whenever a guy comes and meets up with her though she says she doesn't actually want sex, she just wants a normal date and it is always so clear that is lying about her intentions just to get them to show up to meet her because she feels there is no other way to get them to like her unless she does this. The guys she meets up with then always question why she lied to get them to show up, and insist that they have sex with her when she is reluctant to do so.Even though she says no initially to them asking for sex from her because that is initially what she seemed so clear on doing with them, she always caves and lets them have sex with her because she feels that is what she needs to do to get them to like her. It never works out though as they just leave her right after they have sex because she seems so desperate and clingy and she just ends up getting hurt by doing this.Is it fair to say that these guys are coercing her into sex even though not one of them have actually threatened or really forced her into anything, they have only been insistent when she initially says no to them? I mean they have never given her an ultimatum like they never said 'do it or else', they just want her to deliver on her word that she was going to have sex with them.Is it fair to say she is being raped by these guys when she keeps letting them violate her like this because she is pressuring herself to do it in the hopes they will like her? I mean she doesn't really want to have sex with them, she just accepts that she needs to do it for their approval of her and she never even tries to resist them in any way or tell them to stop while they have sex.So is it fair to say she is being raped and coerced into sex when it is by her own personal ultimatum to let them use her in the hopes of gaining a relationship out of it and not by the threat or blackmail of any guy? I feel like this is a grey area in terms of consent and its a tough situation to know for sure.