/u/Rigga-Goo-Goo on PSA

The best way to describe it is when you have a craving for food (lets go with chocolate). Only with sexual attraction your "craving" is to engage in sexual activity with someone.

Personally, I don't really care about chocolate but if someone gives me something, when I eat it I can enjoy it (that's being sex favorable). It's usually never something I have a craving for, except rarely.... rarely I can't think about anything but eating some chocolate. Like, I'm going to go to the store right now and load up on some because I need it. That's being grey. The baseline is feeling nothing but with specific circumstances (or a random breeze) it can turn into a craving.

At least, that's how I experience sexual attraction (obviously not the same for everyone). This is going to be intentionally crude, but basically there will be a guy who catches my eye and I can't stop thinking about sitting on his dick. It's crude because that's what my brain does to me when I experience sexual attraction. It makes me feel crazy. Now, just because I feel that way about someone doesn't me I would actually act on it. But the carnal reaction and the immediacy of, "I need this person right now!" (similar to how you'd crave food) is how it manifests for me. It can feel like an obsession.

I don't feel that way very often, and sometimes it's to different degrees. And anytime I have felt it and acted on it, it always goes away after a while. I've had a lot of positive sexual experiences so when I care about about someone I'm completely fine being in a sexual relationship even without feeling sexual attraction. 99% of the time sex never occurs to me, but my partner will ask and it's like, "Oh! Yeah, okay." I'm not experiencing that overwhelming feeling of "I need this!" but the act of it is enjoyable.

On top of all of that, physical arousal is something entirely different too. I masturbate probably once a day and that's purely as a way to alleviate arousal (it also helps with headaches and helps me sleep). For me, being physically aroused doesn't have anything to do with feeling sexual attraction (though it can if I'm experiencing one of the rare times I feel sexual attraction).

I don't know if that helped or made it more confusing, but if you have any more questions just let me know!





July 29, 2021 at 11:33PM
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