/u/Thornescape on On a thing where I said I was ace. I would think it was clear that I was a bit uncomfortable with the questions. I sent them a link to the info page.

I am not uncomfortable with any questions. I'm glad that you are being considerate of those who are uncomfortable. It's important to realize, however, that these questions can be very personal and feel invasive. It's not about a lack of pride, but a lack of privacy.

Asexuality is very specifically about not experiencing sexual attraction towards others. That's the entire deal. If you don't experience sexual attraction towards others, you're asexual. It's not all that complicated, really. It doesn't matter why. Could be trauma, hormones, or you were just always that way. Cause is irrelevant to the label.

Asexuality has nothing to do with: romantic attraction, kissing, cuddling, gender preferences, masturbation, porn, kinks, or actually having sex. It's just about sexual attraction towards others. Some sex repulsed asexuals will use porn or masturbate even though they'd have no interest in the real thing, because with fantasy you can skip the stuff you wouldn't like in reality.

How can someone know that they are asexual without having sex? Tell me, how can a heterosexual dude know that they aren't bisexual if they haven't had sex with a guy? How can they know if they haven't kissed another guy? And if the hetero guy has had sex with another guy, maybe it just wasn't the right guy!

My question for you is: "How many guys does a truly heterosexual guy need to have sex with to be sure that they are heterosexual?"

The asexual spectrum basically sort of goes
--- Sex Repulsed: Usually avoid sex ---
#1: Repulsed by comments about sex or others having sex
#2: Repulsed by the reality of having sex personally
#3: Willing to have sex, but may be disgusted afterwards
-- Sex Neutral or Favourable: May enjoy sex ----
#4: Neutral towards sex, but no sexual attraction
#5: Enjoy pleasing partner, but no sexual attraction
--- Exceptions: Will also be anywhere #1-5 ---
* Grey-asexual: Occasional sexual attraction, but rarely or less intense.
* Demisexual is entirely different. Demis function like asexuals until they have a particular emotional connection with someone, after which they function like allosexuals with that person (full sexual attraction).





April 07, 2021 at 11:52PM
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