Is it unreasonable to want to date someone with career ambitions?

So, I just recently moved to Barcelona from Latin America. I'm a 32F, with a comfortable job in tech. I feel very lucky that I love my job, although I would not consider myself a workaholic. In my family, I was the first to finish college and my mom always put a lot on focus on being a hard worker and having a career, something she couldn't have. I have worked since I was 17, and I take pride in being able to support myself and help out my mom.
Is something that I value, I like people who want to pursue something bigger and have ambitions.

So now, I've been dating and going out with some guys here and I find very off putting that a lot of men around my age don't have what people would normally consider a career.

They either have jobs in the hospitality industry (which is in a hard situation now because of Covid and they are in ERTE - a term for when people are not working and receiving assistance from the government), entry-level retail or they work in technical jobs.

From the conversations, these guys have been working the same position for years, and they don't show signs of wanting to do more... like getting a promotion, starting a business, etc. Many of them live with their parents at 30+ (!) and their excuse is "rents are too high"... like, I know, I pay one.

Talking to friends that have lived here for longer, they tell me this is very common, a lot of people in Barcelona are more relaxed regarding the whole "having a career" situation, as most jobs pay salaries that are ok to live comfortable, so they don't feel the "need" to do more.

Maybe it's cultural, but I'm having a hard time with this. I'm trying to keep an open mind and meet guys who have a different job choice than mine, but it's complicated, specially when they do weird/sarcastic comments about "my fancy job" or the fact that "I'm so lucky to live alone".

Is this asking too much? I feel like I just want someone with the same values, and for me, career ambition is one of them, but I also don't want to be a snob and miss the chance to meet a nice guy bc of first career impressions...

Insights are appreciated :)



Submitted September 14, 2020 at 11:42PM

So, I just recently moved to Barcelona from Latin America. I'm a 32F, with a comfortable job in tech. I feel very lucky that I love my job, although I would not consider myself a workaholic. In my family, I was the first to finish college and my mom always put a lot on focus on being a hard worker and having a career, something she couldn't have. I have worked since I was 17, and I take pride in being able to support myself and help out my mom.Is something that I value, I like people who want to pursue something bigger and have ambitions.So now, I've been dating and going out with some guys here and I find very off putting that a lot of men around my age don't have what people would normally consider a career.They either have jobs in the hospitality industry (which is in a hard situation now because of Covid and they are in ERTE - a term for when people are not working and receiving assistance from the government), entry-level retail or they work in technical jobs.From the conversations, these guys have been working the same position for years, and they don't show signs of wanting to do more... like getting a promotion, starting a business, etc. Many of them live with their parents at 30+ (!) and their excuse is "rents are too high"... like, I know, I pay one.Talking to friends that have lived here for longer, they tell me this is very common, a lot of people in Barcelona are more relaxed regarding the whole "having a career" situation, as most jobs pay salaries that are ok to live comfortable, so they don't feel the "need" to do more.Maybe it's cultural, but I'm having a hard time with this. I'm trying to keep an open mind and meet guys who have a different job choice than mine, but it's complicated, specially when they do weird/sarcastic comments about "my fancy job" or the fact that "I'm so lucky to live alone".Is this asking too much? I feel like I just want someone with the same values, and for me, career ambition is one of them, but I also don't want to be a snob and miss the chance to meet a nice guy bc of first career impressions...Insights are appreciated :)
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