How to express wanting to see more "Effort"

I second guess myself on everything lately. Background- Guy (37m) and I (30f) started talking back in June, OLD style. Things progressed and while we haven't had any explicit conversations around defining what are relationship is guy calls me his 'girl' his 'babe' and repeatedly expresses we are a thing and he is a one woman dude. We are on average seeing each other like one night every other weekend, we are somewhat LD. We don't talk on the phone so its really just text in between visits. and those have been....lacking more and more.

Obviously I know we are past the initial getting to know you phase so I dont expect riveting revelations or deep probing questions back to back at this point,,, but aside from a "good morning" "how is your day" and a meme or two that's been the extent the past oh...month? And there are long periods of time he goes silent on me. I do know he enjoys gaming and sometimes naps after work but I feel...neglected? I don't know if i even have a right to feel that way at this point- i don't expect or desire to monopolize all of his time but i want more, especially in the evenings when i'm home from work finally I feel so excited like this is our time to chat away and most days its just nothing.

I don't know how to express that I want more from him with out being too clingy/needy and pushing him away. This feels too early in a relationship to be left feeling lonely and confused.

He also ended his visit abruptly this weekend due to a 'work emergency' which he seemed genuine about, but I found myself giving him the cold shoulder today due to the above feelings pooling up and this recent event- which i know is a childish response and I need to articulate my needs and not 'ghost' him. I just dont know how.

Am I being too needy? Advise on how to approach this with out being needy/accusatory ?



Submitted September 14, 2020 at 11:11PM

I second guess myself on everything lately. Background- Guy (37m) and I (30f) started talking back in June, OLD style. Things progressed and while we haven't had any explicit conversations around defining what are relationship is guy calls me his 'girl' his 'babe' and repeatedly expresses we are a thing and he is a one woman dude. We are on average seeing each other like one night every other weekend, we are somewhat LD. We don't talk on the phone so its really just text in between visits. and those have been....lacking more and more.Obviously I know we are past the initial getting to know you phase so I dont expect riveting revelations or deep probing questions back to back at this point,,, but aside from a "good morning" "how is your day" and a meme or two that's been the extent the past oh...month? And there are long periods of time he goes silent on me. I do know he enjoys gaming and sometimes naps after work but I feel...neglected? I don't know if i even have a right to feel that way at this point- i don't expect or desire to monopolize all of his time but i want more, especially in the evenings when i'm home from work finally I feel so excited like this is our time to chat away and most days its just nothing.I don't know how to express that I want more from him with out being too clingy/needy and pushing him away. This feels too early in a relationship to be left feeling lonely and confused.He also ended his visit abruptly this weekend due to a 'work emergency' which he seemed genuine about, but I found myself giving him the cold shoulder today due to the above feelings pooling up and this recent event- which i know is a childish response and I need to articulate my needs and not 'ghost' him. I just dont know how.Am I being too needy? Advise on how to approach this with out being needy/accusatory ?
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more