How do I stay calm when dating?

Hi there,

Does anyone have any advice for me? I am 31f, and I’m looking for someone to love for life and have a family with. I dated and lived with someone for several years in my 20s and i just assumed it would materialize into marriage at some point, because he always said it would when I asked. I eventually realized that it wasn’t going to happen because he didn’t actually want that.

So now I’m afraid of making the same mistake. I’ve experienced first hand that people can say they want one thing and give off all the good vibes while stringing me along. And I’m really scared of anyone I date now pulling the same crap.

My biological clock is ticking hard. I already have a known issue that my doctor warns me will likely make achieving pregnancy take longer (but not impossible). What’s more, I’d really like at least 2-3 kids.

I’ve had a relationship since the ex that have lasted 12 months, but I cut bait because the person wasn’t seriously discussing or thinking about marriage with me at the point I brought it up (although we had discussed our individual desires for marriage at length).

I know this probably isn’t fair and I know these things take time and you can’t force them. But how do I stay the course if someone isn’t getting on board as quickly as me? I’m so afraid I’ll give someone too much time and end up alone and childless. And I’m also afraid that if I keep cutting off good relationships I’ll end up alone and childless.

Does anyone have a similar experience? Ladies in their 30s that want kids, How do you deal with it? Assign a deadline to the relationship? Bring it up constantly?

Men, how does this work from your perspectives? How can a woman bring this up in dating in a dignified but not-too-lenient way?

Thanks!



Submitted September 28, 2020 at 11:35PM

Hi there,Does anyone have any advice for me? I am 31f, and I’m looking for someone to love for life and have a family with. I dated and lived with someone for several years in my 20s and i just assumed it would materialize into marriage at some point, because he always said it would when I asked. I eventually realized that it wasn’t going to happen because he didn’t actually want that.So now I’m afraid of making the same mistake. I’ve experienced first hand that people can say they want one thing and give off all the good vibes while stringing me along. And I’m really scared of anyone I date now pulling the same crap.My biological clock is ticking hard. I already have a known issue that my doctor warns me will likely make achieving pregnancy take longer (but not impossible). What’s more, I’d really like at least 2-3 kids.I’ve had a relationship since the ex that have lasted 12 months, but I cut bait because the person wasn’t seriously discussing or thinking about marriage with me at the point I brought it up (although we had discussed our individual desires for marriage at length).I know this probably isn’t fair and I know these things take time and you can’t force them. But how do I stay the course if someone isn’t getting on board as quickly as me? I’m so afraid I’ll give someone too much time and end up alone and childless. And I’m also afraid that if I keep cutting off good relationships I’ll end up alone and childless.Does anyone have a similar experience? Ladies in their 30s that want kids, How do you deal with it? Assign a deadline to the relationship? Bring it up constantly?Men, how does this work from your perspectives? How can a woman bring this up in dating in a dignified but not-too-lenient way?Thanks!
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