/u/Else5803 on My girlfriend might be asexual

Ah, I am glad it was somewhat relevant.

I don’t want to assume but I just had a thought that might be helpful. I think newcomers to the idea of asexuality get a little confused about what it means.

Asexuality is about attraction/orientation, not behavior. That makes it different from having a low libido or losing your sexual energy. You can be asexual and have a sex drive (these folks often engage in kink play or solo masturbation). You can be asexual and not want sex at all. Many asexual people enjoy the intimacy of sex and participate for that reason, while other asexuals steer clear of the whole thing.

It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Sometimes a good clue is that a person who is not asexual experiences more distress about the fact they aren’t enjoying/having sex.

It’s possible your girlfriend is experience something more along the lines of a loss of libido.

Anxiety and stress about sex can ultimately look and feel like the asexuality because you don’t want sex (anymore). But that’s typically more upsetting for someone who is still experiencing some sexual attraction.

Or maybe she really is asexual or close to it, and is finally finding the answers she’s been looking for.

Whatever the case, your gf may find a home in the asexual community. People bond here a lot around the idea that we don’t want or think about sex. If that idea is relatable, this community can be a good place.

Good luck and best wishes you and her.

June 16, 2020 at 11:38PM