/u/Else5803 on My girlfriend might be asexual

Ah, I am glad it was somewhat relevant.

I don’t want to assume but I just had a thought that might be helpful. I think newcomers to the idea of asexuality get a little confused about what it means.

Asexuality is about attraction/orientation, not behavior. That makes it different from having a low libido or losing your sexual energy. You can be asexual and have a sex drive (these folks often engage in kink play or solo masturbation). You can be asexual and not want sex at all. Many asexual people enjoy the intimacy of sex and participate for that reason, while other asexuals steer clear of the whole thing.

It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.

Sometimes a good clue is that a person who is not asexual experiences more distress about the fact they aren’t enjoying/having sex.

It’s possible your girlfriend is experience something more along the lines of a loss of libido.

Anxiety and stress about sex can ultimately look and feel like the asexuality because you don’t want sex (anymore). But that’s typically more upsetting for someone who is still experiencing some sexual attraction.

Or maybe she really is asexual or close to it, and is finally finding the answers she’s been looking for.

Whatever the case, your gf may find a home in the asexual community. People bond here a lot around the idea that we don’t want or think about sex. If that idea is relatable, this community can be a good place.

Good luck and best wishes you and her.





June 16, 2020 at 11:38PM
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n...
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love ...
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou...
Read more