23F. Am I normal? Should I get counseling?

Hello, 23F, here.

Long story short, there was I have fallen in love 2x in my life. Once at 14, it was clearly puppy love. And again at 16, we were high school sweethearts and dated through high school and most of college and were eventually engaged. He was abusive, toxic, and extremely controlling. I was co-dependent. It’s been 2 years since we broke up. He’s now engaged to someone new. And as for me, I stayed single for a year to focus on self love. I’ve made friends, found hobbies, for back into therapy and made it a serious point to make sure I didn’t NEED anyone. I used to even tell myself that I never want to lose my entire self to another person.

I’ve tried dating a few guys recently. Some of the most healthiest people I’ve met. Absolute gentlemen that would’ve given the world for me. But I lose interest fast. As soon as they fall in love, I for some reason have this “romantic” switch just turn off. Am I doomed? I feel like a “high school fuckboi” minus sex. I feel like I WANT to have a meaningful relationship but somethings blocking me every time I’m given the opportunity. I FEEL healthy and ready to date. But...?



Submitted May 31, 2020 at 11:47PM

Hello, 23F, here.Long story short, there was I have fallen in love 2x in my life. Once at 14, it was clearly puppy love. And again at 16, we were high school sweethearts and dated through high school and most of college and were eventually engaged. He was abusive, toxic, and extremely controlling. I was co-dependent. It’s been 2 years since we broke up. He’s now engaged to someone new. And as for me, I stayed single for a year to focus on self love. I’ve made friends, found hobbies, for back into therapy and made it a serious point to make sure I didn’t NEED anyone. I used to even tell myself that I never want to lose my entire self to another person.I’ve tried dating a few guys recently. Some of the most healthiest people I’ve met. Absolute gentlemen that would’ve given the world for me. But I lose interest fast. As soon as they fall in love, I for some reason have this “romantic” switch just turn off. Am I doomed? I feel like a “high school fuckboi” minus sex. I feel like I WANT to have a meaningful relationship but somethings blocking me every time I’m given the opportunity. I FEEL healthy and ready to date. But...?
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