My girlfriend (29) has slept with over 100 people and has been to therapy for sex addiction. Am I right to feel uneasy about this?

For some context we have been dating for around 5 months now, I am also female and a little on the young side at 19 years old. We are both very open sexually - I even shared my first threesome [FMF] with her, which is also the first time I had sex with a man.

Her experience and drive definitely comes with benefits - she is very well practiced and quickly figured out what I like, we are able to communicate openly about the things we enjoy, don't enjoy, what we want to try etc and it all feels very natural. She has introduced me to many new things sexually and my view on sex has changed drastically in a positive way.

However it also makes me feel uneasy at times. The majority of the people she calls her 'friends' are actually people that she has slept with in the past, which makes me uncomfortable regardless of how platonic their relationship now is. Whenever she mentions a new name the first thing on my mind is whether this is someone that she has slept with or not, and I often have to ask her.

She will also quite often makes offhand comments of a sexual nature which make me feel uncomfortable. For example, whilst we have been separated during the past few weeks, she's made a joke of 'not having anyone to sleep with' a couple times recently. I called her out for this and she apologised, saying that she didn't mean it.

Another example pertaining to this is that she mentioned recently that she is working with a new female artist in Indonesia for her work. She then told me that this girl is gay, then shortly after told me that she has a wife, so I 'wouldn't have to worry' if they ended up going on tour together.

Though I realise that she intends these comments to sound reassuring in some way, they actually have the opposite affect and they lead me to think about what her actions might be if these things weren't the case - if that girl wasn't married, for example.

I once asked her if she would find it difficult to commit to someone if she got married and her answer was yes. Though she claims to have never cheated on anyone.

Having said all this and despite her promiscuous tendencies, she really does make me feel loved and appreciated. She is deeply empathetic to me and my emotions (other than the occasional offhand comment) and I know that she is in love with me and feels lucky to have me, and I feel the same way about her. However I don't know if I am being blinded by my feelings and should be taking this as a huge red flag, or whether I am just being over sensitive to this because I don't share the same experience as her...

I would love to hear about any similar experiences that any of you have had from either perspective, as well as any advice that you have to offer about my situation :)

Submitted April 22, 2020 at 11:44PM

For some context we have been dating for around 5 months now, I am also female and a little on the young side at 19 years old. We are both very open sexually - I even shared my first threesome [FMF] with her, which is also the first time I had sex with a man.Her experience and drive definitely comes with benefits - she is very well practiced and quickly figured out what I like, we are able to communicate openly about the things we enjoy, don't enjoy, what we want to try etc and it all feels very natural. She has introduced me to many new things sexually and my view on sex has changed drastically in a positive way.However it also makes me feel uneasy at times. The majority of the people she calls her 'friends' are actually people that she has slept with in the past, which makes me uncomfortable regardless of how platonic their relationship now is. Whenever she mentions a new name the first thing on my mind is whether this is someone that she has slept with or not, and I often have to ask her.She will also quite often makes offhand comments of a sexual nature which make me feel uncomfortable. For example, whilst we have been separated during the past few weeks, she's made a joke of 'not having anyone to sleep with' a couple times recently. I called her out for this and she apologised, saying that she didn't mean it.Another example pertaining to this is that she mentioned recently that she is working with a new female artist in Indonesia for her work. She then told me that this girl is gay, then shortly after told me that she has a wife, so I 'wouldn't have to worry' if they ended up going on tour together.Though I realise that she intends these comments to sound reassuring in some way, they actually have the opposite affect and they lead me to think about what her actions might be if these things weren't the case - if that girl wasn't married, for example.I once asked her if she would find it difficult to commit to someone if she got married and her answer was yes. Though she claims to have never cheated on anyone.Having said all this and despite her promiscuous tendencies, she really does make me feel loved and appreciated. She is deeply empathetic to me and my emotions (other than the occasional offhand comment) and I know that she is in love with me and feels lucky to have me, and I feel the same way about her. However I don't know if I am being blinded by my feelings and should be taking this as a huge red flag, or whether I am just being over sensitive to this because I don't share the same experience as her...I would love to hear about any similar experiences that any of you have had from either perspective, as well as any advice that you have to offer about my situation :)