My (25/f) boyfriend (28/m) DM’d a sexy Instagram model, defended his actions saying it wasnt a flirty conversation?

As a quick backstory, before my bf and I became official, he was following a lot of “sexy” IG models. Some are in other countries and some are local. They aren’t like the huge 1 million + follower base models, but more like averaging 2,000-10,000 follower base.

Anyway, since the beginning I expressed my discomfort and hurt that he’d be liking those girls pictures and even commenting on them. This was when we were exclusively seeing each other and he even told me he liked me, and wanted to see where things went with us.

I told him his social media activity was bothering me. He didn’t see anything wrong with it because “liking pictures and commenting didn’t mean anything” to him, but he still stopped for my sake. I told him I didn’t want to change him, but that I’d just rather stop seeing him (back then). He said it was “worth” it to stop liking and cmting on their pics because he wanted to see me.

Fast forward to recent day — we became officially bf and gf. However I found out that one of those ig models, who didn’t follow him before, started following him back.

I knew that couldn’t be random so I asked him about it. He said he had responded to one of her ig stories about “who wants cookies” and he responded “meeee” with an emoji.

He even sent me a screenshot of the conversation.

Granted, the conversation itself wasn’t sexual by nature. However, her IG feed is literally softcore porn content and he used to like her pics a lot (but stopped). He said I never said anything about DMs so he didn’t think it would be wrong. Also he said their conversation wasn’t flirty at all.

But in my perspective, it’s like... why even go out of your way to DM a softcore porn ig model when you KNOW your gf would probably be uncomfortable with it...?

Tldr: Bf follows a lot of sexy IG models. from the beginning it bothered me he would like and cmt on their pics and he stopped, so he could continue seeing me. We became official. Then I found out he actually DMed one of those IG models (she lives in another country and he never met her) by reacting to her story. Granted they had a non-flirty conversation, but it still bothers me he was DMing a softcore porn model. Should I be worried or am I overreacting?

Submitted April 14, 2020 at 12:09AM

As a quick backstory, before my bf and I became official, he was following a lot of “sexy” IG models. Some are in other countries and some are local. They aren’t like the huge 1 million + follower base models, but more like averaging 2,000-10,000 follower base.Anyway, since the beginning I expressed my discomfort and hurt that he’d be liking those girls pictures and even commenting on them. This was when we were exclusively seeing each other and he even told me he liked me, and wanted to see where things went with us.I told him his social media activity was bothering me. He didn’t see anything wrong with it because “liking pictures and commenting didn’t mean anything” to him, but he still stopped for my sake. I told him I didn’t want to change him, but that I’d just rather stop seeing him (back then). He said it was “worth” it to stop liking and cmting on their pics because he wanted to see me.Fast forward to recent day — we became officially bf and gf. However I found out that one of those ig models, who didn’t follow him before, started following him back.I knew that couldn’t be random so I asked him about it. He said he had responded to one of her ig stories about “who wants cookies” and he responded “meeee” with an emoji.He even sent me a screenshot of the conversation.Granted, the conversation itself wasn’t sexual by nature. However, her IG feed is literally softcore porn content and he used to like her pics a lot (but stopped). He said I never said anything about DMs so he didn’t think it would be wrong. Also he said their conversation wasn’t flirty at all.But in my perspective, it’s like... why even go out of your way to DM a softcore porn ig model when you KNOW your gf would probably be uncomfortable with it...?Tldr: Bf follows a lot of sexy IG models. from the beginning it bothered me he would like and cmt on their pics and he stopped, so he could continue seeing me. We became official. Then I found out he actually DMed one of those IG models (she lives in another country and he never met her) by reacting to her story. Granted they had a non-flirty conversation, but it still bothers me he was DMing a softcore porn model. Should I be worried or am I overreacting?