Fetish has negatively impacted my sex life 18F

I have an array of extremely non-standard fetishes that only get more extreme as time goes on. I could never tell anybody about it, nevermind try these out in real life. For six years I could only get off to porn depicting this, but I noticed that after becoming sexually active I am slightly turned on by standard PIV porn.

Anyway, my main issue is that I can’t get wet. Or more accurately, I can only get wet watching porn depicting my fetish, and even this is rare. Outside of this scenario, I’ve gotten wet maybe twice in my life and it was a pitiful amount during non-sexual activities. I’ve never orgasmed with my partner either. This is partly due to only being turned on by fetish porn, and partly because I masturbate in such an abrasive way that has severely decreased my sensitivity. This has massively affected my self perception, I feel less womanly and even thinking about people who get wet easily makes me choke up and start sobbing. I see so many comments saying how sensitive they are or how much their partner turns them on, and some even complain about being “too wet”, which I don’t want to invalidate but honestly I just can’t wrap my head around it and it makes me feel like shit. I’m very attracted to my partner but I don’t get mentally or physically turned on. I feel disgusting, unfeminine and unsexy. I also can’t get into sexting, phone sex, dirty talk or anything of the like because I can’t tap into what normal fantasies sound like. Has anybody experienced something similar and fixed it? What can I do? I want to naturally be able to get wet like other women, even if I do have to keep using lube now and then. I also want to achieve a normal clitoral orgasm.

Submitted April 14, 2020 at 12:15AM

I have an array of extremely non-standard fetishes that only get more extreme as time goes on. I could never tell anybody about it, nevermind try these out in real life. For six years I could only get off to porn depicting this, but I noticed that after becoming sexually active I am slightly turned on by standard PIV porn.Anyway, my main issue is that I can’t get wet. Or more accurately, I can only get wet watching porn depicting my fetish, and even this is rare. Outside of this scenario, I’ve gotten wet maybe twice in my life and it was a pitiful amount during non-sexual activities. I’ve never orgasmed with my partner either. This is partly due to only being turned on by fetish porn, and partly because I masturbate in such an abrasive way that has severely decreased my sensitivity. This has massively affected my self perception, I feel less womanly and even thinking about people who get wet easily makes me choke up and start sobbing. I see so many comments saying how sensitive they are or how much their partner turns them on, and some even complain about being “too wet”, which I don’t want to invalidate but honestly I just can’t wrap my head around it and it makes me feel like shit. I’m very attracted to my partner but I don’t get mentally or physically turned on. I feel disgusting, unfeminine and unsexy. I also can’t get into sexting, phone sex, dirty talk or anything of the like because I can’t tap into what normal fantasies sound like. Has anybody experienced something similar and fixed it? What can I do? I want to naturally be able to get wet like other women, even if I do have to keep using lube now and then. I also want to achieve a normal clitoral orgasm.