Sex after infidelity: a question.

Hello guys gals and non-binary pals. I have a question and am looking for some advice/input/personal anecdotes, etc.

I’ve (22f) been with my partner (27m) for a year and a half. Wonderful relationship, always made sure we kept a strong foundation of friendship, and crazy perfect sexual compatibility. Like just unreal on every level. Not bragging, it’s relevant, don’t worry.

2 months ago I found out he slept with someone else in the early months of our relationship. Details are unclear as I’ve been too scared to ask, but from what I understand it went successfully once, and another 2 times he went to hookup with her and...ahem...the equipment seemed to not be working on his end. We’ve been separated from each other since January due to unforeseen circumstances and he’s due to be back around mid-April. We’re both extremely sexual people and touch is a huge part of our love language.

My dilemma is trust is a HUGE part of sex for me, and I’m worried about how this will affect our sex life should we decide to work on our relationship. I suffer from pretty low self esteem to begin with (abusive partners, body image issues, etc) and I don’t know what to expect or ways to prepare myself for the inevitable physical reunion. Should I forgo sex for a while when he first gets back? Should I just dive in head first and see how I feel? Has anyone here brought back a physical spark after being cheated on? Any advice or stories are welcome.

TLDR; used to have great sex with my boyfriend. Found out in the beginning of the relationship he slept with someone else. Worried about the change in sexual relationship since sex is both important to us in a relationship.



Submitted March 22, 2020 at 12:20AM

Hello guys gals and non-binary pals. I have a question and am looking for some advice/input/personal anecdotes, etc.I’ve (22f) been with my partner (27m) for a year and a half. Wonderful relationship, always made sure we kept a strong foundation of friendship, and crazy perfect sexual compatibility. Like just unreal on every level. Not bragging, it’s relevant, don’t worry.2 months ago I found out he slept with someone else in the early months of our relationship. Details are unclear as I’ve been too scared to ask, but from what I understand it went successfully once, and another 2 times he went to hookup with her and...ahem...the equipment seemed to not be working on his end. We’ve been separated from each other since January due to unforeseen circumstances and he’s due to be back around mid-April. We’re both extremely sexual people and touch is a huge part of our love language.My dilemma is trust is a HUGE part of sex for me, and I’m worried about how this will affect our sex life should we decide to work on our relationship. I suffer from pretty low self esteem to begin with (abusive partners, body image issues, etc) and I don’t know what to expect or ways to prepare myself for the inevitable physical reunion. Should I forgo sex for a while when he first gets back? Should I just dive in head first and see how I feel? Has anyone here brought back a physical spark after being cheated on? Any advice or stories are welcome.TLDR; used to have great sex with my boyfriend. Found out in the beginning of the relationship he slept with someone else. Worried about the change in sexual relationship since sex is both important to us in a relationship.
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