I like being fetishised despite advocating against it in real life and on the web

I'm a bisexual Asian guy, born and raised in an East Asian country. My family and friends back at home don't know about me having sex with men but I don't keep it a secret here (American college). However I came here only few months ago, so very few people know about me about my sexuality or anything else about me. I never had sex with a man in my country, never even thought about it, and I never felt romantic attraction to a guy.

To make it clear, I've a girlfriend back home so I'm not talking out of envy or else. I'm not shy about talking how common is for Asian girls, especially the ones living in the West, to prefer White men over Asian men and how this is absolutely wrong, mainly because you should judge everyone as an individual and not because their race/ethnicity/nationality and so on. I truly hold this view and, like I wrote, I'm not shy at all to express it.

That said, I confess I'm (irrationally, at least for me) aroused by the difference in size and masculinity between Asian males and males of other races (on average, some Asian man is definitely manly while some Black and White man is not so manly). Despite my strong personality and assertive character, I'm quite feminine, especially for Western standards. I consider myself good-looking, apart from being short I've a symmetrical face and a lean body. I'm also proud of my smooth skin and stylish middle-lenght hair. However, they're considered feminine features outside of East Asia and not suited to a guy, but I would assure you some White, American-born girl like it.

I also confess to have cheated on my girlfriend, shortly after coming here. Once with a White American girl and, for the first time in my life, with a guy. Two guys to be fair.

I must admit the girl wasn't conventionally attractive at all, but she has an interesting character. On the other hand, the guys were extremely good-looking, objectively speaking.

I should admit, despite my public opinions on East Asians being considered feminine and how it's degrading for us, I'm aroused by the fact Asian guys are almost always the bottom in interracial gay sex and how most of us could easily pass for a girl with some make-up and female clothes. Irrationally and hypocrite, I know, but still. I also want to said this doesn't change my views at all, I don't let my sexual preferences influencing my thoughts.

One of the guys is an European student, I really liked how kindly he treated me, like I was a delicate girl. We also talked about his fetish about Asian guys despite him not finding guys of other ethnicities attractive but still agreeing with me about how relatively common and degrading is this. He's a smart guy, I met him three times before stopping this because he started dating a girl and he said to find cheating extremely wrong.

The other guy was the Black gardener, a very tall and muscular man in his mid 30's. I was aroused by his straight-up approach to me, considering he risked to lose his job. He treated me in a rough way and straight-up told me he saw me as a girl, like another Asian student he had sex with some years before. I both liked and disliked his manners, it fulfilled my fantasies but I also thought he didn't deserve to enjoy my intimacy because, even outside of bed, he really thought Asians aren't real men. I know it's irrational, but the same things that arouse me also made me not wanted to do it anymore.

I'm sure the very same things I'm against are the things that arouse me. I know my actions reinforce the stereotypes. I know my behavior is strongly caused by these stereotypes. I accepted this, but I'm strong and this won't break my spirit.

TL,DR: I'm not shy to talk about how East Asian guys are stereotyped as feminine and how some East Asian girls, especially the ones living in the West, dream about dating a White guy and don't judge guys as individuals. But I also had sex with guys fetishising me as a feminine Asian guy. This doesn't change my views at all, however.

Submitted March 22, 2020 at 12:24AM

I'm a bisexual Asian guy, born and raised in an East Asian country. My family and friends back at home don't know about me having sex with men but I don't keep it a secret here (American college). However I came here only few months ago, so very few people know about me about my sexuality or anything else about me. I never had sex with a man in my country, never even thought about it, and I never felt romantic attraction to a guy.To make it clear, I've a girlfriend back home so I'm not talking out of envy or else. I'm not shy about talking how common is for Asian girls, especially the ones living in the West, to prefer White men over Asian men and how this is absolutely wrong, mainly because you should judge everyone as an individual and not because their race/ethnicity/nationality and so on. I truly hold this view and, like I wrote, I'm not shy at all to express it.That said, I confess I'm (irrationally, at least for me) aroused by the difference in size and masculinity between Asian males and males of other races (on average, some Asian man is definitely manly while some Black and White man is not so manly). Despite my strong personality and assertive character, I'm quite feminine, especially for Western standards. I consider myself good-looking, apart from being short I've a symmetrical face and a lean body. I'm also proud of my smooth skin and stylish middle-lenght hair. However, they're considered feminine features outside of East Asia and not suited to a guy, but I would assure you some White, American-born girl like it.I also confess to have cheated on my girlfriend, shortly after coming here. Once with a White American girl and, for the first time in my life, with a guy. Two guys to be fair.I must admit the girl wasn't conventionally attractive at all, but she has an interesting character. On the other hand, the guys were extremely good-looking, objectively speaking.I should admit, despite my public opinions on East Asians being considered feminine and how it's degrading for us, I'm aroused by the fact Asian guys are almost always the bottom in interracial gay sex and how most of us could easily pass for a girl with some make-up and female clothes. Irrationally and hypocrite, I know, but still. I also want to said this doesn't change my views at all, I don't let my sexual preferences influencing my thoughts.One of the guys is an European student, I really liked how kindly he treated me, like I was a delicate girl. We also talked about his fetish about Asian guys despite him not finding guys of other ethnicities attractive but still agreeing with me about how relatively common and degrading is this. He's a smart guy, I met him three times before stopping this because he started dating a girl and he said to find cheating extremely wrong.The other guy was the Black gardener, a very tall and muscular man in his mid 30's. I was aroused by his straight-up approach to me, considering he risked to lose his job. He treated me in a rough way and straight-up told me he saw me as a girl, like another Asian student he had sex with some years before. I both liked and disliked his manners, it fulfilled my fantasies but I also thought he didn't deserve to enjoy my intimacy because, even outside of bed, he really thought Asians aren't real men. I know it's irrational, but the same things that arouse me also made me not wanted to do it anymore.I'm sure the very same things I'm against are the things that arouse me. I know my actions reinforce the stereotypes. I know my behavior is strongly caused by these stereotypes. I accepted this, but I'm strong and this won't break my spirit.TL,DR: I'm not shy to talk about how East Asian guys are stereotyped as feminine and how some East Asian girls, especially the ones living in the West, dream about dating a White guy and don't judge guys as individuals. But I also had sex with guys fetishising me as a feminine Asian guy. This doesn't change my views at all, however.