I need some advice, I don’t know who to turn to

I’m having some marriage issues and I just would like to know someone else’s thoughts about this or if anyone can offer me any advice that would be great. My husband and I got married when we were 18, we both turned 19 shortly after. We are both now 20 (married for almost 2 years) and I feel like I’ve made a mistake. We were high school sweet hearts (started dating when we were 15, together for almost 5 years) I felt like I knew him and now I feel like he’s a stranger. Everything was great when we first got married. I was so excited to be with him in our own place. About 6 months go by after getting married and I just have a gut feeling something isn’t right. I found out he had been lying to me for a very long time and it really broke me. It felt like he hid it from me until after we got married so I “couldn’t leave.” After finding out about this lie, it kind of opened my eyes that he had been lying to me pretty much the whole time we had been together. I feel like he is a completely different person than what I knew him to be. I’ve also changed a lot, I feel like I have more respect for myself and more independence. We don’t have a lot of intimacy, we might have sex maybe once a month, maybe. My trust was broken and I don’t feel comfortable being intimate with someone who would treat me poorly. On top of this, I’m bisexual. I’ve known this about myself since middle school and ever since all of this happened I just think about being with women. I just constantly wish I could go back and never have been married to him. He loves me and cares about me but there is really a lack of communication and connection. I care about him a lot but I don’t know if I still love him like I used to and I don’t know if our trust can be built back. I am already planning on going to see a counselor or therapist for myself and I also would like to do couples counseling whether he wants to be there or not. Right now I’m contemplating separating because I feel like I’m wasting my time with him, but another part of me doesn’t want to give up. If we separated I would still need some time to build savings and make a solid plan. I have a very conservative family so I don’t really have a support system. Advice would be very much appreciated.



Submitted March 22, 2020 at 12:06AM

I’m having some marriage issues and I just would like to know someone else’s thoughts about this or if anyone can offer me any advice that would be great. My husband and I got married when we were 18, we both turned 19 shortly after. We are both now 20 (married for almost 2 years) and I feel like I’ve made a mistake. We were high school sweet hearts (started dating when we were 15, together for almost 5 years) I felt like I knew him and now I feel like he’s a stranger. Everything was great when we first got married. I was so excited to be with him in our own place. About 6 months go by after getting married and I just have a gut feeling something isn’t right. I found out he had been lying to me for a very long time and it really broke me. It felt like he hid it from me until after we got married so I “couldn’t leave.” After finding out about this lie, it kind of opened my eyes that he had been lying to me pretty much the whole time we had been together. I feel like he is a completely different person than what I knew him to be. I’ve also changed a lot, I feel like I have more respect for myself and more independence. We don’t have a lot of intimacy, we might have sex maybe once a month, maybe. My trust was broken and I don’t feel comfortable being intimate with someone who would treat me poorly. On top of this, I’m bisexual. I’ve known this about myself since middle school and ever since all of this happened I just think about being with women. I just constantly wish I could go back and never have been married to him. He loves me and cares about me but there is really a lack of communication and connection. I care about him a lot but I don’t know if I still love him like I used to and I don’t know if our trust can be built back. I am already planning on going to see a counselor or therapist for myself and I also would like to do couples counseling whether he wants to be there or not. Right now I’m contemplating separating because I feel like I’m wasting my time with him, but another part of me doesn’t want to give up. If we separated I would still need some time to build savings and make a solid plan. I have a very conservative family so I don’t really have a support system. Advice would be very much appreciated.
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