My Ex Is Best Friends With My Father & I Don’t Know How To Handle It

I (F24) meet my now ex-boyfriend (M34) via mutual friends, both of us are from the same country/culture although we now live in a different country. Originally I didn’t know this but he ended up becoming close friends with my father before we started seeing each other. My ex sees my father as the father he always wanted (even joking that he’ll adopt himself into the family) and I guess my father sees my ex as a younger version of himself/the son he never had. my father wasn’t aware of our relationship (we both decided to keep it that way & would reveal it if we made a year) although I think he was suspicious. Our relationship ended after a few months, due primarily to his immaturity & issues from his past that he wouldn’t resolve. The age difference wasn’t as big a factor. It’s a bit awkward now at BBQs & social gatherings where their both there as my ex now tries to engage in obvious physical contact where before he wouldn’t come near me as if I was infectious.

What annoys me the most is the fact that any possible partner I bring home to meet my parents will be compared to my ex by my father (who has hinted a few times that he wants me to bring home someone like him.)

tl;dr: Should I just accept the fact that my ex is going to be in my life for the foreseeable future? Should I set boundaries with him or flat out ignore him? Do I mess up their friendship but telling my father about our past relationship? I don’t know.

Any thoughts or advice are welcomed & appreciated.

Submitted March 27, 2020 at 12:13AM

I (F24) meet my now ex-boyfriend (M34) via mutual friends, both of us are from the same country/culture although we now live in a different country. Originally I didn’t know this but he ended up becoming close friends with my father before we started seeing each other. My ex sees my father as the father he always wanted (even joking that he’ll adopt himself into the family) and I guess my father sees my ex as a younger version of himself/the son he never had. my father wasn’t aware of our relationship (we both decided to keep it that way & would reveal it if we made a year) although I think he was suspicious. Our relationship ended after a few months, due primarily to his immaturity & issues from his past that he wouldn’t resolve. The age difference wasn’t as big a factor. It’s a bit awkward now at BBQs & social gatherings where their both there as my ex now tries to engage in obvious physical contact where before he wouldn’t come near me as if I was infectious.What annoys me the most is the fact that any possible partner I bring home to meet my parents will be compared to my ex by my father (who has hinted a few times that he wants me to bring home someone like him.)tl;dr: Should I just accept the fact that my ex is going to be in my life for the foreseeable future? Should I set boundaries with him or flat out ignore him? Do I mess up their friendship but telling my father about our past relationship? I don’t know.Any thoughts or advice are welcomed & appreciated.