How can I (M22) ask my girlfriend (F20) about mutual masturbation?

I’ve (M22) been wanting to ask my girlfriend (F20) of a little over eight months about mutual masturbation for quite a few months now. I brought it up once in the VERY early stages of our relationship—like, we had just started having sex, and my dumbass wasn’t thinking and brought it up during sex which I know now is something you should never do, and she said she would think about it but we never spoke about it again.

We’ve only been able to make each other come a few times before, and we have a mutual agreement that an orgasm is not the goal, the goal is to just have fun and be intimate with each other. So if it happens it happens, but if it doesn’t we don’t beat ourselves up about it (as much) as we used to.

I masturbate, and I’m not exactly sure if she does, because we just don’t really talk about it. Occasionally the conversation about masturbation will come up with friends or whatever, but we’ve never had a full conversation about it ourselves. Sometimes when I’m horny she’ll make me wait (or at least ask me if I did wait) and when she does I usually do.

But I want to masturbate together. I’m tired of doing it alone and I think it’d be a really fun, intimate way to experience something new and and bring us closer, and I think it’d be really hot too. But I’m worried because the last time I brought it up, she thought I was asking because she didn’t make me feel good, but she does! I just want to have that intimate moment together.

We went on an out of town trip a few weeks ago and I was going to ask her then, seeing as it was just us two and we spent most of the weekend having sex anyways. But I didn’t because I got too scared. I know the worst she can say is no, which she tells me all the time whenever we talk about trying new stuff in bed, but I’m more worried about her thinking I’m asking for a reason other than the one I’m asking for.

How can I bring it up? We have bedroom dice and card games that mention it, but we don’t pull those out much. I don’t know how to just say “hey babe I wanna masturbate together”

Any advice would be much appreciated. I feel like it’d be a cool way to experience orgasms together too, because we’ve never both come at the same time. But I don’t know how to say it in a way that tells her I’m not asking about this because she doesn’t make me feel good (because she does) I’m just asking because I think it would be a cool, intimate thing to do together.

I don’t want to keep putting it off, but I want to make sure when I DO ask that I have a clear head about it and am able to explain why I’m asking in a way that totally explains it. I don’t want to get my words all twisted and make no sense, because I tend to ramble when I’m nervous.

Again, any advice would be appreciated! I really do want to ask her, I’m just so scared to actually do it.

Submitted March 07, 2020 at 11:37PM

I’ve (M22) been wanting to ask my girlfriend (F20) of a little over eight months about mutual masturbation for quite a few months now. I brought it up once in the VERY early stages of our relationship—like, we had just started having sex, and my dumbass wasn’t thinking and brought it up during sex which I know now is something you should never do, and she said she would think about it but we never spoke about it again.We’ve only been able to make each other come a few times before, and we have a mutual agreement that an orgasm is not the goal, the goal is to just have fun and be intimate with each other. So if it happens it happens, but if it doesn’t we don’t beat ourselves up about it (as much) as we used to.I masturbate, and I’m not exactly sure if she does, because we just don’t really talk about it. Occasionally the conversation about masturbation will come up with friends or whatever, but we’ve never had a full conversation about it ourselves. Sometimes when I’m horny she’ll make me wait (or at least ask me if I did wait) and when she does I usually do.But I want to masturbate together. I’m tired of doing it alone and I think it’d be a really fun, intimate way to experience something new and and bring us closer, and I think it’d be really hot too. But I’m worried because the last time I brought it up, she thought I was asking because she didn’t make me feel good, but she does! I just want to have that intimate moment together.We went on an out of town trip a few weeks ago and I was going to ask her then, seeing as it was just us two and we spent most of the weekend having sex anyways. But I didn’t because I got too scared. I know the worst she can say is no, which she tells me all the time whenever we talk about trying new stuff in bed, but I’m more worried about her thinking I’m asking for a reason other than the one I’m asking for.How can I bring it up? We have bedroom dice and card games that mention it, but we don’t pull those out much. I don’t know how to just say “hey babe I wanna masturbate together”Any advice would be much appreciated. I feel like it’d be a cool way to experience orgasms together too, because we’ve never both come at the same time. But I don’t know how to say it in a way that tells her I’m not asking about this because she doesn’t make me feel good (because she does) I’m just asking because I think it would be a cool, intimate thing to do together.I don’t want to keep putting it off, but I want to make sure when I DO ask that I have a clear head about it and am able to explain why I’m asking in a way that totally explains it. I don’t want to get my words all twisted and make no sense, because I tend to ramble when I’m nervous.Again, any advice would be appreciated! I really do want to ask her, I’m just so scared to actually do it.