did he just want to hookup or

Hi! Before I start, I would like to say I'm aware that none of us know what this guy's true intentions were unless I ask. I'm just wondering what other people think.

Long story short, I [21F] met him [21M] my freshman year college and it was obvious that he wanted to get to know me from the very beginning. He eventually became my first kiss, later got mad at him because he showed up with hickies from another girl, he apologized, I initiated the talk about what he wanted and he said he didn't want a relationship at the time. We left off on good terms and remained good friends. Sophomore year, nothing really happened. He made the effort to hang out with me here and there, but we never actually hooked up or anything.

Summer going into this school year was when things started to change. We began to talk a lot through Snap and he tagged me on stuff on Facebook. When classes began, he immediately asked me to chill the very first week. This became a consistent thing throughout the school year. Every time we hung out, he tried to hold my hand. Some things he did that made me think he wanted a relationship was: he would always pay for my coffee, bought wine a couple of times so we could drink it together in our dorms, bought and cooked me food (dude specifically bought me steak too cause i asked for it), bought me a bottle for my birthday after I jokingly asked for one, asked to chill in the city and Facetime over winter break, he invited me to pregame with his friends (which has never happened during our 2 years of being friends). First semester, we were both at two parties together and usually he hooks up with other girls but both times he just stayed with me throughout the party. One party, I was dancing with another guy and it was obvious that he was mad but didn't say anything. Not only that, second semester, I had a birthday party and he bought me a bottle. I got drunk and was apparently touchy with his friends. The next day, his friend told me that I was touchy with them and that he looked mad stressed when I did that.

Anyways, last week was basically our last week of college because of everything being moved online do to the coronavirus. On our last day of college, he asked to hangout because he said "this might be the last time I see your face." We get coffee, once again he pays and tries to hold my hand. We then go back to my room and we cuddle for a little bit. He then asks if I wanted him to kiss me and I say no and he asks why. I know I should've asked what his intentions were then but I just couldn't so I said that I wasn't good at this physical stuff and he kept saying that it was fine and he didn't care. I said I'm only comfortable with being kissed on the cheek so he kisses me on the cheek and neck for a little bit and then we cuddle for 2 hours (this is the most physical we got all year). Later that night, I go to the bar with friends and I get a text from him saying he'll be coming too. He comes, we're both on the dancefloor, I dance with my guy friends, and then I see him hooking up with another girl.

So did he want to just hook up with me or did he want an actual relationship? I'm confused because he spent so much time and effort throughout the year to hangout with me -- but just for a hookup? Anyways, I feel like if he really wanted a relationship with me he would make the effort to make his intentions more clear and would reach out first. What do you think?

Submitted March 23, 2020 at 11:48PM

Hi! Before I start, I would like to say I'm aware that none of us know what this guy's true intentions were unless I ask. I'm just wondering what other people think.Long story short, I [21F] met him [21M] my freshman year college and it was obvious that he wanted to get to know me from the very beginning. He eventually became my first kiss, later got mad at him because he showed up with hickies from another girl, he apologized, I initiated the talk about what he wanted and he said he didn't want a relationship at the time. We left off on good terms and remained good friends. Sophomore year, nothing really happened. He made the effort to hang out with me here and there, but we never actually hooked up or anything.Summer going into this school year was when things started to change. We began to talk a lot through Snap and he tagged me on stuff on Facebook. When classes began, he immediately asked me to chill the very first week. This became a consistent thing throughout the school year. Every time we hung out, he tried to hold my hand. Some things he did that made me think he wanted a relationship was: he would always pay for my coffee, bought wine a couple of times so we could drink it together in our dorms, bought and cooked me food (dude specifically bought me steak too cause i asked for it), bought me a bottle for my birthday after I jokingly asked for one, asked to chill in the city and Facetime over winter break, he invited me to pregame with his friends (which has never happened during our 2 years of being friends). First semester, we were both at two parties together and usually he hooks up with other girls but both times he just stayed with me throughout the party. One party, I was dancing with another guy and it was obvious that he was mad but didn't say anything. Not only that, second semester, I had a birthday party and he bought me a bottle. I got drunk and was apparently touchy with his friends. The next day, his friend told me that I was touchy with them and that he looked mad stressed when I did that.Anyways, last week was basically our last week of college because of everything being moved online do to the coronavirus. On our last day of college, he asked to hangout because he said "this might be the last time I see your face." We get coffee, once again he pays and tries to hold my hand. We then go back to my room and we cuddle for a little bit. He then asks if I wanted him to kiss me and I say no and he asks why. I know I should've asked what his intentions were then but I just couldn't so I said that I wasn't good at this physical stuff and he kept saying that it was fine and he didn't care. I said I'm only comfortable with being kissed on the cheek so he kisses me on the cheek and neck for a little bit and then we cuddle for 2 hours (this is the most physical we got all year). Later that night, I go to the bar with friends and I get a text from him saying he'll be coming too. He comes, we're both on the dancefloor, I dance with my guy friends, and then I see him hooking up with another girl.So did he want to just hook up with me or did he want an actual relationship? I'm confused because he spent so much time and effort throughout the year to hangout with me -- but just for a hookup? Anyways, I feel like if he really wanted a relationship with me he would make the effort to make his intentions more clear and would reach out first. What do you think?