She wants a break. I need answers!

Okay. This is a throwaway account. Not because anyone I know uses Reddit (no one I know uses Reddit, actually!). I just don’t want this post on my profile cuz it’s a little more personal and doesn’t fit with what I post on my main account (mostly memes and videogame stuff). I’ll use my real first name and hers too, but not locations, specific dates, etc. Also sorry for bad formatting, I’m on mobile. TL;DR at bottom.

My (20M) name is Kelvin. The girl (20F) in question is named Laura. She is (or was idk!!!) my girlfriend. We have been dating since the beginning of the semester, so early September. We were good friends and hit it off and liked each other for a while. Things were great. Our first date was fun and we enjoyed it. We’d see each other at work sometimes, as she would come and visit me.

Now the issue: The new semester has started, and we don’t go to the same school. We live in the same state. We also are majoring in different things (PT for me and political science for her), so our schedules are vastly different. She did some stuff on the side of school, but our schedules and work were manageable and we had decent down time for ourselves and each other. With the new semester, since early January, it’s been nearly impossible to see her. We have only been on one official date, yet have seen each other and hung out around others after that. Due to our schedule, things have gotten a bit stale. Not only that, some other issues have arisen.

I can have free time and it’s not IMPOSSIBLE to see her. I haven’t put in effort to see her. Our schedule has made stuff hard to do, but not impossible. On her side, communication was lacking. She didn’t know how to express nor really want to express her issues as we just didn’t see a proper time. There was other small stuff that came about as a result. Stuff wasn’t what people call “toxic” but it was hurtful and not benefiting us. We weren’t really happy for nearly the last month of this, and it showed.

So, in total, the issue was scheduling, less effort, and a lack of communication. Recently I was informed she wanted to go on break till the end of the semester and be labeled as friends. We won’t date, but she still cares and likes me. We won’t be labeled exclusive nor bf/gf either, but she said she doesn’t want to look for anyone else and wants time to work on herself.

I agreed and understood - hesitantly of course, I was scared - after we spoke about it for a while. It was rough for me to accept but it was needed. Continuing to go on and let things fester like this while also not being to physically see each other would be very tough.

Mind you, she’s not malicious. This wasn’t an argument. We calmly and honestly spoke about everything that was wrong. The break was something she had the idea of. We spoke and came to an agreement. There weren’t any red flags prior to dating or even taking a break. This is what was agreed upon. Things were hectic, it wasn’t benefitting us, and we needed time to work on ourselves. I needed to show more effort and she needed to just work on communication. She said that she would like to try again at the end of the semester (the summer) when we are free from school and our awful schedules. She said she still cares about me and likes me, and wants to be friends for now and is open to still talk, but how do I approach this? What do I do?I’m new at all this. So, some advice?? What the hell do I do???

TL;DR - Busy schedules led to neglect of relationship, GF wants break till end of semester. What the hell do I do????

Submitted February 03, 2020 at 12:09AM

Okay. This is a throwaway account. Not because anyone I know uses Reddit (no one I know uses Reddit, actually!). I just don’t want this post on my profile cuz it’s a little more personal and doesn’t fit with what I post on my main account (mostly memes and videogame stuff). I’ll use my real first name and hers too, but not locations, specific dates, etc. Also sorry for bad formatting, I’m on mobile. TL;DR at bottom.My (20M) name is Kelvin. The girl (20F) in question is named Laura. She is (or was idk!!!) my girlfriend. We have been dating since the beginning of the semester, so early September. We were good friends and hit it off and liked each other for a while. Things were great. Our first date was fun and we enjoyed it. We’d see each other at work sometimes, as she would come and visit me.Now the issue: The new semester has started, and we don’t go to the same school. We live in the same state. We also are majoring in different things (PT for me and political science for her), so our schedules are vastly different. She did some stuff on the side of school, but our schedules and work were manageable and we had decent down time for ourselves and each other. With the new semester, since early January, it’s been nearly impossible to see her. We have only been on one official date, yet have seen each other and hung out around others after that. Due to our schedule, things have gotten a bit stale. Not only that, some other issues have arisen.I can have free time and it’s not IMPOSSIBLE to see her. I haven’t put in effort to see her. Our schedule has made stuff hard to do, but not impossible. On her side, communication was lacking. She didn’t know how to express nor really want to express her issues as we just didn’t see a proper time. There was other small stuff that came about as a result. Stuff wasn’t what people call “toxic” but it was hurtful and not benefiting us. We weren’t really happy for nearly the last month of this, and it showed.So, in total, the issue was scheduling, less effort, and a lack of communication. Recently I was informed she wanted to go on break till the end of the semester and be labeled as friends. We won’t date, but she still cares and likes me. We won’t be labeled exclusive nor bf/gf either, but she said she doesn’t want to look for anyone else and wants time to work on herself.I agreed and understood - hesitantly of course, I was scared - after we spoke about it for a while. It was rough for me to accept but it was needed. Continuing to go on and let things fester like this while also not being to physically see each other would be very tough.Mind you, she’s not malicious. This wasn’t an argument. We calmly and honestly spoke about everything that was wrong. The break was something she had the idea of. We spoke and came to an agreement. There weren’t any red flags prior to dating or even taking a break. This is what was agreed upon. Things were hectic, it wasn’t benefitting us, and we needed time to work on ourselves. I needed to show more effort and she needed to just work on communication. She said that she would like to try again at the end of the semester (the summer) when we are free from school and our awful schedules. She said she still cares about me and likes me, and wants to be friends for now and is open to still talk, but how do I approach this? What do I do?I’m new at all this. So, some advice?? What the hell do I do???TL;DR - Busy schedules led to neglect of relationship, GF wants break till end of semester. What the hell do I do????