I've never came with a partner before

I have never had an orgasm with a partner before, not even when in a long term relationship, it's not that I am not incapable, I can achieve orgasm on my own perfectly fine. Most of the time I feel that my needs are overlooked during sex, or my partner doesn't understand my needs. Previously I was told that I 'take too long to finish' (after spending hours on them), and its really given me so much anxiety around the whole thing and around asking for what I want. And I find that when I do eventually get the courage to ask, and they try to attend to me, I feel very self-conscious and can't enjoy myself because I think that they will get bored with me because I can't finish fast enough for them. I know this isn't a great mindset to have, but I feel so much anxiety around this and I'm not sure what to do about it.



Submitted February 03, 2020 at 12:19AM

I have never had an orgasm with a partner before, not even when in a long term relationship, it's not that I am not incapable, I can achieve orgasm on my own perfectly fine. Most of the time I feel that my needs are overlooked during sex, or my partner doesn't understand my needs. Previously I was told that I 'take too long to finish' (after spending hours on them), and its really given me so much anxiety around the whole thing and around asking for what I want. And I find that when I do eventually get the courage to ask, and they try to attend to me, I feel very self-conscious and can't enjoy myself because I think that they will get bored with me because I can't finish fast enough for them. I know this isn't a great mindset to have, but I feel so much anxiety around this and I'm not sure what to do about it.
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