Rational decision vs. irrational brain.

^Since r/deadbedrooms ^{keeps removing with ZERO EXPLANATION...}

Been in the dating game for ~8 years and got very little for the effort. Maybe since a rather large part of my generation outright never wants kids or wants them "someday" (aka "when i'm 40 and my biological clock is ringing), and I do consider that a dealbreaker.

Now I'm 30. What little SMV I had is down to zero, and I don't earn enough money to make up the difference. My last long-term romantic relationship admitted she doesn't want to marry me or have kids. On top of that she's been fighting illness so the last time we'd been intimate was in 2019. At this point it's time to cut my losses. Deleting my accounts on all the dating apps, throwing out my condom stash, donating the children's books I still had...the whole works.

The problem is my brain doesn't want to cooperate at all. I desperately, beyond words, want not just to get laid but have a lifemate and children. My physical desires are like a man dying of thirst in the desert...it sucks but nothing helps. Porn just makes it worse. On top of that suckiness I have recurring dreams about seeing my kid on the playground or seeing someone all in white walk up the aisle. But I'm out of options. Please don't bother with a way to 'fix' my situation , I've already tried it. Guaranteed.

I'm already scheduling a visit with my primary doctor this month to start learning about any possible medical options. Is there such thing as an anti-libido pill? Hypnosis to remove an involuntary desire you don't want?

Any helpful suggestions are welcome to me as I 'close up shop'.

Submitted February 27, 2020 at 11:55PM

Since r/deadbedrooms keeps removing with ZERO EXPLANATION...Been in the dating game for ~8 years and got very little for the effort. Maybe since a rather large part of my generation outright never wants kids or wants them "someday" (aka "when i'm 40 and my biological clock is ringing), and I do consider that a dealbreaker.Now I'm 30. What little SMV I had is down to zero, and I don't earn enough money to make up the difference. My last long-term romantic relationship admitted she doesn't want to marry me or have kids. On top of that she's been fighting illness so the last time we'd been intimate was in 2019. At this point it's time to cut my losses. Deleting my accounts on all the dating apps, throwing out my condom stash, donating the children's books I still had...the whole works.The problem is my brain doesn't want to cooperate at all. I desperately, beyond words, want not just to get laid but have a lifemate and children. My physical desires are like a man dying of thirst in the desert...it sucks but nothing helps. Porn just makes it worse. On top of that suckiness I have recurring dreams about seeing my kid on the playground or seeing someone all in white walk up the aisle. But I'm out of options. Please don't bother with a way to 'fix' my situation , I've already tried it. Guaranteed.I'm already scheduling a visit with my primary doctor this month to start learning about any possible medical options. Is there such thing as an anti-libido pill? Hypnosis to remove an involuntary desire you don't want?Any helpful suggestions are welcome to me as I 'close up shop'.