Should I break up the friendship?

My friend lashed out at me because I told her I don't like her boyfriend. Now I'm wondering if keeping our frindship is worth it.

TL;DR

My friend said some things about me I don't know if I can forgive so I'm thinking about ending the relationship.

Oh boy this is a long one but here we go. 3 weeks ago me (19 f) and my 2 friends (both 19 f) where drinking together with the plan of going to a bar later. We all have a good time, order a taxi and get to a bar where we meet up with some other girls and a guy friend of mine. We start to play beer pong together when my friends boyfriend(20 years old) shows up. He joins us and everything is fine. Our group kinda splits up after the game and I end up talking to my girlfriends bf alone. (Lets call my girlfriend Kim)

Kim and her boyfriend recently got back together after he broke up with her because of some personal issues and told her he wasn't capable of having a gf at the time. He kept texting her, calling her, telling her he needed her, that he didn't want to lose her and he was still in love with her. He even stayed over at her place one night even though her parents where against it (she stills lives at home and they don't like him). She was really hurting during this breakup because she also still loved him and was heartbroken over the fact they coulnd't be together but he kept telling her not to leave him. I hated him because of this. She was hurting so bad and cried so much. I felt as he held her back and she coulnd't move on from him since he kept telling her there was a chance they could by back together. Some months passed and they do in fact get back together. I'm happy that she is happy but i'm still not okay with what happened. I have never liked him but I never told her either (till recently). He had a lot of red flags about him, done some nasty stuff and said some misogynistic things to my friend. Almost all of her other friends dislikes him too (she has told me that) so I wanted to give him a second chance.

Back to the bar! Him and I start to talk about their breakup and I ask if he was with another girl while they had broken up. He tells me he was with another girl and he talks about this for some time. I'm in shock he admitted it to me (he was also drunk) and I was angry because he hadn't told my friend that he had been with another girl. I get mad at him but i didn't react, cus i didn't know what to do. This isn't cheating and I'm not mad at him for being with another girl while him and Kim weren't together. I'm mad at him because he was with another girl but told my friend not to leave him, that he loved her but he wasn't looking for a relationship at that moment. I don't think that is okay. In my opinion it shows that he doesn't love or care for her. I ignored what he just told me because I wanted to tell my friend first and didn't want to confront him at a bar. Later him, Kim and I met up to go home and Kim and her bf starts to have an argument, so I kinda left since I knew what they were fighting about but couldn't do anything about it. (It's a different thing from what him and I talked about)

5 days after the night out I get to see her alone and I tell her what her bf told me that night. She calls him and breaks up with him at the spot. I calm her down, we talk and I leave. The next they she starts to text me about the details of the conversation I had with him. She said I misunderstood and starts to explain his story. It was nothing like what he told me that night, so I tell her that I wasn't lying and she says she believes i'm not lying to her but trust his story. I tell her I love her and if she still wants to be in a relationship with him I'll respect that but I have no respect for him. She tells me he has no respect for me either and our conversation ends.

2 weeks passes and here I am... I was still angry at him and I was not as okay as i believed. Kim and I kinda stopped texting, we lost our snap streak, she told me she was gonna spend New Year with another friend (her and I kinda already had plans) and I was invited to a family thing at her place but she hasn't given me any information about at what time and so... So I talked to my boyfriend about all this and how it made me sad - he told me to talk to her and open up. My other best friend told me to tell Kim how I never liked her boyfriend and why I don't trust what he is telling her now. Kim and I also have a third friend (let's call her May) in our "bestfriends" friendgroup who talked to me about telling Kim how I felt as well. 

So I asked Kim (over texting) what i misunderstood and told her I was ready to apologise if I was wrong. Now... This was a bad idea... She told his story, I told mine. I told her my reasons not to believe him (and that I never liked him) and she got upset. I had kinda seen it coming and knew i was gonna hurt her. But she was not having it saying some very mean things to me, calling me names and telling me I was problematic now that I coursed all this trouble and I was gonna admit I could be wrong. I told her I was willing to apologise to her and her boyfriend (even though i still didn't believe his story) because I care for her and didn't want to let this get inbetween us and I want to (I really want to) trust her boyfriend and want to get along with him. But she lashed out again and told me to shut up. 10 minutes later she text me saying sorry and tells me she doesn't care about what i think. I apologise for hurting her but... She was not over her anger. She starts to talk down on my boyfriend and my relationship with him and how's hers is so much better. She says a lot of hurtful things about me and keeps talking about never talking to her boyfriend again. I don't reply. I don't know what to say. I was hurt for 15 minutes but then I kinda got tired of it. She kept texting me telling me she was over it, telling me she didn't care about me, telling me not to talk to ger boyfriend ever again(as if I was gonna do so??) and how she didn't want to get along with my bf either and she kept going.... texting and texting how bad of a friend and a person I was. I showed May what Kim had texted me and May was so angry and told me she was not gonna accept Kims behaviour and if Kim didn't give me an apology she was gonna break up their friendship. My other best friend told me to stop seeing Kim too and if somebody said to her what Kim had said to me, she would be furious and could not understand why I wasn't more upset.

I just see Kim being very hurt right now and she acted the way she did to hurt me so I could feel hurt too... Idk... I was kinda sad in the beginning because I wanted the best for Kim but now... I see she has crossed the line and I don't really know if I should keep her around as a friend anymore... I never told her to choose between her bf and I but I think she has anyways. Even if I did misunderstand his story, I'm willing to apologise to him but I don't know if I'm willing to apologise to Kim now after all the things she said.

What do you you guys think I should do?

Submitted December 04, 2019 at 12:53AM

My friend lashed out at me because I told her I don't like her boyfriend. Now I'm wondering if keeping our frindship is worth it.TL;DRMy friend said some things about me I don't know if I can forgive so I'm thinking about ending the relationship.Oh boy this is a long one but here we go. 3 weeks ago me (19 f) and my 2 friends (both 19 f) where drinking together with the plan of going to a bar later. We all have a good time, order a taxi and get to a bar where we meet up with some other girls and a guy friend of mine. We start to play beer pong together when my friends boyfriend(20 years old) shows up. He joins us and everything is fine. Our group kinda splits up after the game and I end up talking to my girlfriends bf alone. (Lets call my girlfriend Kim)Kim and her boyfriend recently got back together after he broke up with her because of some personal issues and told her he wasn't capable of having a gf at the time. He kept texting her, calling her, telling her he needed her, that he didn't want to lose her and he was still in love with her. He even stayed over at her place one night even though her parents where against it (she stills lives at home and they don't like him). She was really hurting during this breakup because she also still loved him and was heartbroken over the fact they coulnd't be together but he kept telling her not to leave him. I hated him because of this. She was hurting so bad and cried so much. I felt as he held her back and she coulnd't move on from him since he kept telling her there was a chance they could by back together. Some months passed and they do in fact get back together. I'm happy that she is happy but i'm still not okay with what happened. I have never liked him but I never told her either (till recently). He had a lot of red flags about him, done some nasty stuff and said some misogynistic things to my friend. Almost all of her other friends dislikes him too (she has told me that) so I wanted to give him a second chance.Back to the bar! Him and I start to talk about their breakup and I ask if he was with another girl while they had broken up. He tells me he was with another girl and he talks about this for some time. I'm in shock he admitted it to me (he was also drunk) and I was angry because he hadn't told my friend that he had been with another girl. I get mad at him but i didn't react, cus i didn't know what to do. This isn't cheating and I'm not mad at him for being with another girl while him and Kim weren't together. I'm mad at him because he was with another girl but told my friend not to leave him, that he loved her but he wasn't looking for a relationship at that moment. I don't think that is okay. In my opinion it shows that he doesn't love or care for her. I ignored what he just told me because I wanted to tell my friend first and didn't want to confront him at a bar. Later him, Kim and I met up to go home and Kim and her bf starts to have an argument, so I kinda left since I knew what they were fighting about but couldn't do anything about it. (It's a different thing from what him and I talked about)5 days after the night out I get to see her alone and I tell her what her bf told me that night. She calls him and breaks up with him at the spot. I calm her down, we talk and I leave. The next they she starts to text me about the details of the conversation I had with him. She said I misunderstood and starts to explain his story. It was nothing like what he told me that night, so I tell her that I wasn't lying and she says she believes i'm not lying to her but trust his story. I tell her I love her and if she still wants to be in a relationship with him I'll respect that but I have no respect for him. She tells me he has no respect for me either and our conversation ends.2 weeks passes and here I am... I was still angry at him and I was not as okay as i believed. Kim and I kinda stopped texting, we lost our snap streak, she told me she was gonna spend New Year with another friend (her and I kinda already had plans) and I was invited to a family thing at her place but she hasn't given me any information about at what time and so... So I talked to my boyfriend about all this and how it made me sad - he told me to talk to her and open up. My other best friend told me to tell Kim how I never liked her boyfriend and why I don't trust what he is telling her now. Kim and I also have a third friend (let's call her May) in our "bestfriends" friendgroup who talked to me about telling Kim how I felt as well. So I asked Kim (over texting) what i misunderstood and told her I was ready to apologise if I was wrong. Now... This was a bad idea... She told his story, I told mine. I told her my reasons not to believe him (and that I never liked him) and she got upset. I had kinda seen it coming and knew i was gonna hurt her. But she was not having it saying some very mean things to me, calling me names and telling me I was problematic now that I coursed all this trouble and I was gonna admit I could be wrong. I told her I was willing to apologise to her and her boyfriend (even though i still didn't believe his story) because I care for her and didn't want to let this get inbetween us and I want to (I really want to) trust her boyfriend and want to get along with him. But she lashed out again and told me to shut up. 10 minutes later she text me saying sorry and tells me she doesn't care about what i think. I apologise for hurting her but... She was not over her anger. She starts to talk down on my boyfriend and my relationship with him and how's hers is so much better. She says a lot of hurtful things about me and keeps talking about never talking to her boyfriend again. I don't reply. I don't know what to say. I was hurt for 15 minutes but then I kinda got tired of it. She kept texting me telling me she was over it, telling me she didn't care about me, telling me not to talk to ger boyfriend ever again(as if I was gonna do so??) and how she didn't want to get along with my bf either and she kept going.... texting and texting how bad of a friend and a person I was. I showed May what Kim had texted me and May was so angry and told me she was not gonna accept Kims behaviour and if Kim didn't give me an apology she was gonna break up their friendship. My other best friend told me to stop seeing Kim too and if somebody said to her what Kim had said to me, she would be furious and could not understand why I wasn't more upset.I just see Kim being very hurt right now and she acted the way she did to hurt me so I could feel hurt too... Idk... I was kinda sad in the beginning because I wanted the best for Kim but now... I see she has crossed the line and I don't really know if I should keep her around as a friend anymore... I never told her to choose between her bf and I but I think she has anyways. Even if I did misunderstand his story, I'm willing to apologise to him but I don't know if I'm willing to apologise to Kim now after all the things she said.What do you you guys think I should do?