Anniversary with gf or celebration with sister?

Anniversary with gf[26F] is on the day of the thesis dissertation of sister[35F].

I have been with gf for 5+years, living together for 2. Our "being together" anniversary is coming up, and we consider it to be an important day. We don't usually do crazy things for our anniversary, but we care about passing it together. Things have not been perfect between us over the last few months, which I think makes the occasion even more important.

My sister lives in another country, my home country. She is having her thesis dissertation on the day of my gf&I anniversary. My sister has been through a lot lately, and I think that having all her family there would mean a lot to her. And in general, living in different countries, we don't see each other often.

I feel like missing the anniversary would make my gf sad, whatever good reason there is for doing it. Some other issues we have lately make the situation more delicate. On the other hand, missing my sister celebration would mean miss one of the few occasions when my whole family is together (there is another sister living abroad coming back to our home country for the occasion). However, I would see this sister few weeks later anyway when I go home for Christmas.

It is not possible to combine the two things, as my gf can't take days off to travel abroad and attend the dissertation.

Which of the two occasions would you attend? How would you approach the conversation with the other party to explain that I won't be present?

tl;dr if you had to choose, would you attend anniversary with gf or sister thesis dissertation? How would you communicate the decision to the person for which you will not be present?

Submitted December 04, 2019 at 12:54AM

Anniversary with gf[26F] is on the day of the thesis dissertation of sister[35F].I have been with gf for 5+years, living together for 2. Our "being together" anniversary is coming up, and we consider it to be an important day. We don't usually do crazy things for our anniversary, but we care about passing it together. Things have not been perfect between us over the last few months, which I think makes the occasion even more important.My sister lives in another country, my home country. She is having her thesis dissertation on the day of my gf&I anniversary. My sister has been through a lot lately, and I think that having all her family there would mean a lot to her. And in general, living in different countries, we don't see each other often.I feel like missing the anniversary would make my gf sad, whatever good reason there is for doing it. Some other issues we have lately make the situation more delicate. On the other hand, missing my sister celebration would mean miss one of the few occasions when my whole family is together (there is another sister living abroad coming back to our home country for the occasion). However, I would see this sister few weeks later anyway when I go home for Christmas.It is not possible to combine the two things, as my gf can't take days off to travel abroad and attend the dissertation.Which of the two occasions would you attend? How would you approach the conversation with the other party to explain that I won't be present?tl;dr if you had to choose, would you attend anniversary with gf or sister thesis dissertation? How would you communicate the decision to the person for which you will not be present?