Long post: Need help on being motivated to continue dating/searching for a partner.

Long story short, I'm finding it difficult to go out of my way to try to use dating apps or do things that may involve romantic interest/events, or try to branch out. I just lack the motivation these days.

Random facts about me that may aid you in giving me tips: I have been warned that Reddit may not be the best place to be upfront about things without being heavily judged, but I feel stranded with nowhere else to look for advice. Please try not to make presumptions about me and be friendly/well mannered.

• Physical aspects: Male, low mid-20s, above-average looking, did some modeling too (on the side, not my career), a bit over 6 feet tall. Asian. A bit on the thinner build, not "skinny" by any means.
  • Objectively I believe I am decently attractive. I'm no Hollywood star of course, but I'm definitely not very unattractive either.
• Decently successful for my age, which has been a variable contributing to my shrinking motivation to date because of time constraints. I do have my life together and I engage in an active lifestyle. I always seek to improve my life in every aspect one step at a time. Not many people my age are rolling around in a 6 figure sports car with their own money.
  • Still at the stage where I trade time for money, and exploring/dating also requires time.
  • Sometimes I just want a breather and relax at home in the free time i do have, than to go on a date with a girl that I likely won't want to see twice.
• I am content and happy, but I want to share my life, that's all there is to it.
• Long story but I don't really have a family. With circumstances said, I turned out extremely normal, which is good! No father yet no father issues! My mental state is stable, and my values, norms, etc, are all normal.
• Until 12 months ago, I was in a 3-year relationship, where we lived together. The break up was extremely abrupt during a very low point in my life where i was temporarily unemployed. She felt like a family to me. Passionate love is the foundation, but the family-like bond, we developed over time was precious to me.
  • In 3 months time after our breakup, she was with another man. In 6 months time, they are engaged and she moved to another country to be with him. It definitely hit my confidence, but I know better than for it to weigh me down in finding someone new.
  • She has always been popular with men, during our time together she had to turn multiple men away, some are still waiting for a chance, some are attracted to her through her social medias. She was always faithful and turned them away swiftly and clearly.
• I do have women whom are attracted to me and initiate with me. But 99% of the time are unattractive to me.
• Perhaps my biggest problem, I do have...perhaps, high standards.
  • Face/looks and height matters to me. I prefer to date physically attractive women (again, not Hollywood level or anything). Judge me all you want, I'm sure, just like wanting money, dating pretty women is the root of all evil -_- , of course!
  • Even small things can trigger me. For example, I will never let my date pay, but if she doesn't even offer or fake in some effort, I see it as bad manners, and I question her upbringing. Things like etiquette (and sometimes formality) are important to me, as I believe they show a lot about the person.
  • I want a girl who can match/compliment me and each other/vise versa*. Someone who looks clean and preppy enough that I can bring out to see clients/networks and be able to maintain her class, composure, catch social ques, support me in conversations, and vise versa.* Someone who is my partner in crime.
  • RANT (I know, a very Gen Z thing to do): Many girls my age are too youthful in values and often immature.
    • I hate waste people. or..."waste yutes" (bleh). I feel like 85% of the time, I am meeting someone who doesn't have their life together, NOR ATTEMPTING TO (which is the real problem for me). Just wasting their life away. "oh I am just figuring stuff out as I waste my weekends away and only do the bare minimum that i need to stay afloat" I mean...if you aren't a doctor, you don't need 6 to 8 years to figure things out okay? That's just my opinion, especially when most are blessed with opportunities than even the common talents that make it out of Africa or India ever did. How are we so waste??? I hate my generation. Those stereotypes are very true sometimes.
    • Now, I am not asking the girls to be a superstar, but at least be employed or stay in school, or study a certification, whatever it is, WORK TOWARDS SOMETHING PLEASE, anything! Eating off of your parents for 8 years is NOT "I am still figuring things out"!!!!!!!! (unless of course, a doctorate, or special conditions)
• I do NOT let these standards show or give girls that judged vibe during dates, this is just for myself. I'm actually quite down to earth, cheery, and comfortable.
  • While you can and should judge a book by its cover (first impressions), no book can truly be valued by its cover. So I do put in the effort to discover someone more, before deciding they are not the right fit. But...this doesn't seem like a kind thing to do as it leads girls on, waste both our time, and I have been minimizing this.

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To sum it all up, I just feel tired of meeting low-quality women (I've tried yoga, online, joining clubs, communities, etc), and in the chances where I do meet someone I am attracted to, I might not be good enough for her, or a better man got into her picture, etc, whatever it is, it is still difficult.Failure after failure, it feels like a tedious chore rather than an enjoyable process. I look at the TV and i think, there's a 100% chance i will enjoy this relaxation time. But there is a very low chance that if i go on this date, i will want to see her again. It starts to feel like a bad ROI for my time, and maybe that's why I've been losing motivation when my time could be put into other things with better returns.

Submitted December 31, 2019 at 12:25AM

Long story short, I'm finding it difficult to go out of my way to try to use dating apps or do things that may involve romantic interest/events, or try to branch out. I just lack the motivation these days.Random facts about me that may aid you in giving me tips: I have been warned that Reddit may not be the best place to be upfront about things without being heavily judged, but I feel stranded with nowhere else to look for advice. Please try not to make presumptions about me and be friendly/well mannered.Physical aspects: Male, low mid-20s, above-average looking, did some modeling too (on the side, not my career), a bit over 6 feet tall. Asian. A bit on the thinner build, not "skinny" by any means.Objectively I believe I am decently attractive. I'm no Hollywood star of course, but I'm definitely not very unattractive either.Decently successful for my age, which has been a variable contributing to my shrinking motivation to date because of time constraints. I do have my life together and I engage in an active lifestyle. I always seek to improve my life in every aspect one step at a time. Not many people my age are rolling around in a 6 figure sports car with their own money.Still at the stage where I trade time for money, and exploring/dating also requires time.Sometimes I just want a breather and relax at home in the free time i do have, than to go on a date with a girl that I likely won't want to see twice.I am content and happy, but I want to share my life, that's all there is to it.Long story but I don't really have a family. With circumstances said, I turned out extremely normal, which is good! No father yet no father issues! My mental state is stable, and my values, norms, etc, are all normal.Until 12 months ago, I was in a 3-year relationship, where we lived together. The break up was extremely abrupt during a very low point in my life where i was temporarily unemployed. She felt like a family to me. Passionate love is the foundation, but the family-like bond, we developed over time was precious to me.In 3 months time after our breakup, she was with another man. In 6 months time, they are engaged and she moved to another country to be with him. It definitely hit my confidence, but I know better than for it to weigh me down in finding someone new.She has always been popular with men, during our time together she had to turn multiple men away, some are still waiting for a chance, some are attracted to her through her social medias. She was always faithful and turned them away swiftly and clearly.I do have women whom are attracted to me and initiate with me. But 99% of the time are unattractive to me.Perhaps my biggest problem, I do have...perhaps, high standards.Face/looks and height matters to me. I prefer to date physically attractive women (again, not Hollywood level or anything). Judge me all you want, I'm sure, just like wanting money, dating pretty women is the root of all evil -_- , of course!Even small things can trigger me. For example, I will never let my date pay, but if she doesn't even offer or fake in some effort, I see it as bad manners, and I question her upbringing. Things like etiquette (and sometimes formality) are important to me, as I believe they show a lot about the person.I want a girl who can match/compliment me and each other/vise versa*. Someone who looks clean and preppy enough that I can bring out to see clients/networks and be able to maintain her class, composure, catch social ques, support me in conversations, and vise versa.* Someone who is my partner in crime.RANT (I know, a very Gen Z thing to do): Many girls my age are too youthful in values and often immature.I hate waste people. or..."waste yutes" (bleh). I feel like 85% of the time, I am meeting someone who doesn't have their life together, NOR ATTEMPTING TO (which is the real problem for me). Just wasting their life away. "oh I am just figuring stuff out as I waste my weekends away and only do the bare minimum that i need to stay afloat" I mean...if you aren't a doctor, you don't need 6 to 8 years to figure things out okay? That's just my opinion, especially when most are blessed with opportunities than even the common talents that make it out of Africa or India ever did. How are we so waste??? I hate my generation. Those stereotypes are very true sometimes.Now, I am not asking the girls to be a superstar, but at least be employed or stay in school, or study a certification, whatever it is, WORK TOWARDS SOMETHING PLEASE, anything! Eating off of your parents for 8 years is NOT "I am still figuring things out"!!!!!!!! (unless of course, a doctorate, or special conditions)I do NOT let these standards show or give girls that judged vibe during dates, this is just for myself. I'm actually quite down to earth, cheery, and comfortable.While you can and should judge a book by its cover (first impressions), no book can truly be valued by its cover. So I do put in the effort to discover someone more, before deciding they are not the right fit. But...this doesn't seem like a kind thing to do as it leads girls on, waste both our time, and I have been minimizing this.​To sum it all up, I just feel tired of meeting low-quality women (I've tried yoga, online, joining clubs, communities, etc), and in the chances where I do meet someone I am attracted to, I might not be good enough for her, or a better man got into her picture, etc, whatever it is, it is still difficult.Failure after failure, it feels like a tedious chore rather than an enjoyable process. I look at the TV and i think, there's a 100% chance i will enjoy this relaxation time. But there is a very low chance that if i go on this date, i will want to see her again. It starts to feel like a bad ROI for my time, and maybe that's why I've been losing motivation when my time could be put into other things with better returns.