Moving past first couple of dates [M23]

Quick background. I have been out of dating game for close to 5 years due to medical problems(had to follow strict diet and daily routine so I didn’t die), that were recently resolved via operation. Essentially I had no time or confidence to date. Now that I’m finally normal, healthy and confident again I’ve been on a handful of dates. Unfortunately I’ve had little success it terms of moving past the first couple dates. The common theme I’m getting is “I’m a great guy, but they didn’t feel a spark and/or they are too busy to commit”

Am I falling into the nice guy trap? I’ve also considered that maybe I’m just boring, but then I compare myself to others in relationship and I find it hard to believe. I’m not the most interesting man but I’ve at least got hobbies and stories to tell. I’ve even tried being fake and over excited ahaha, but face similar outcomes.

Due to my lack of recent experience, I’ve been pretty cautions in terms of making moves and getting physical. I also know in today’s world it is easy to come off as too aggressive by rushing into things. What am I doing wrong? Should I be more aggressive? Am I just getting unlucky? Or am I just being a tool ahaha?

IF YOU WANT MORE CONTEXT KEEP READING...

Very recently I went on a second date with a girl I thought I hit it off with. The date went well(went on way longer than planned, and insisted on picking up tab for dinner). She invited me inside while I waited for my Uber. I figured if she wanted anything more she would’ve brought me to her room or something other than “come in and wait for your Uber”. So I got my Uber and gave her a quick kiss as I was walking out the door. Beside the weak kiss, I would say everything went well. However she soon hit me up and said after thinking about it she was too busy to commit. Because I don’t have much to build off of this makes little sense. She was the one who insisted on setting up second date. All to realize she was suddenly too busy. This makes my head turn and this is the problem I’m trying to fix.



Submitted November 14, 2019 at 11:59PM

Quick background. I have been out of dating game for close to 5 years due to medical problems(had to follow strict diet and daily routine so I didn’t die), that were recently resolved via operation. Essentially I had no time or confidence to date. Now that I’m finally normal, healthy and confident again I’ve been on a handful of dates. Unfortunately I’ve had little success it terms of moving past the first couple dates. The common theme I’m getting is “I’m a great guy, but they didn’t feel a spark and/or they are too busy to commit”Am I falling into the nice guy trap? I’ve also considered that maybe I’m just boring, but then I compare myself to others in relationship and I find it hard to believe. I’m not the most interesting man but I’ve at least got hobbies and stories to tell. I’ve even tried being fake and over excited ahaha, but face similar outcomes.Due to my lack of recent experience, I’ve been pretty cautions in terms of making moves and getting physical. I also know in today’s world it is easy to come off as too aggressive by rushing into things. What am I doing wrong? Should I be more aggressive? Am I just getting unlucky? Or am I just being a tool ahaha?IF YOU WANT MORE CONTEXT KEEP READING...Very recently I went on a second date with a girl I thought I hit it off with. The date went well(went on way longer than planned, and insisted on picking up tab for dinner). She invited me inside while I waited for my Uber. I figured if she wanted anything more she would’ve brought me to her room or something other than “come in and wait for your Uber”. So I got my Uber and gave her a quick kiss as I was walking out the door. Beside the weak kiss, I would say everything went well. However she soon hit me up and said after thinking about it she was too busy to commit. Because I don’t have much to build off of this makes little sense. She was the one who insisted on setting up second date. All to realize she was suddenly too busy. This makes my head turn and this is the problem I’m trying to fix.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Add Comments, Posts, Links... etc.

Popular posts from this blog

The difference between being right and being understood

My boyfriend and I are 28. We’ve been together for about 1.5 years and recently moved in together. He’s a pretty patient and easygoing person (Type B) whereas I’m more particular (Type A). Of course there are two sides to every trait, and my Type A nature benefits us in some ways too. Like all couples, we have differences in perspective or preference. When this happens, he will usually say something like “I disagree (with your perspective) but fine.” I tend to push the issue in an attempt to get him to understand where I’m coming from. This escalates the disagreement into a fight because he perceives it as me trying to be “right”. I truly just want to be understood (and I want to understand where he’s coming from) so I’m looking for more of a dialogue whereas he avoids conflict and just wants it to be over as quickly as possible. His general approach is “agree to disagree” but that doesn’t make sense to me when it’s an issue that will keep coming up and requires compromise. I’m n
Read more

My (27f) gf (27f) is getting tired of me not sharing intimate/ personal info about me

I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love with her, however I can not seem to open up... and I can tell it’s frustrating to her by the way she tells me it bothers her that she feels she’s the only one committed and the one that’s always sharing... At this point I don’t even know if it is that I’ve gotten too used to it, to the point I’ve became lazy to talk about myself or give any genuine personal opinion... it sucks, really, I need to communicate better... Where do I start? Tl;dr: I can’t be completely intimate with my gf and its frustrating her, I need to communicate better because I really love her... where to start? Submitted April 25, 2019 at 06:02AM I’ve always been extremely private and introverted. We have more than a year together and we’ve been living together for like 6 months, we get along pretty good and I’m really in love
Read more

My (23M) girlfriend (25F) relationship is confusing to me. I might be the problem, or maybe we are just incompatible.

I met my girlfriend after a few serious breakups that led me to change both intentionally and unintentionally over a few years. For better and for worse. She had just gotten out of an engagement with a verbally and physically abusive man who had a cocaine problem. We have been together about 8 months now. We hit it off and spent a lot of time together but she began to push our relationship as if there were a time clock for milestones. I was pressed beyond my comfort zone and went with it because of my affection for her. My living situation fell apart and I lost a few thousand dollars to shit roommates right around the time she and I met and she offered to let me stay with her. I agreed with some resistance. I pay for food, help her with bills, and throw money toward rent while trying to get back on my feet. As long as we have been together she has gotten more possessive, angry, and irrational. She is dealing with shit from her engagement and I feel shes looking for a level of seriou
Read more