Is it worth it to be someone's second choice in an exclusive potentially LTR relationship?

I am exclusive with this girl. I learned recently that she is still hurting for her ex of 4 months who moved away in August and that she wanted to do a long distance relationship but he didn't. She and her ex both knew that the relationship would end in a few months as he had a job offer in another country.

She originally got over him in a month but last week received a phone call from him regarding his ex's father. The girl wants to be in a relationship with me but had second doubts when the EX's father died and she was invited to the funeral and attended today. She is very conflicted and says she doesn't know if I am a backup or the first choice. I believe her but at the same time I know that I could potentially be the "safe" second choice at home since she might be lying to herself.

Is it worth it to be someone's second choice? Can a second choice ever be a first? They were only together for four months and he is forever gone in another country.

This is my first relationship and she knows that I am a kind and good natured person. Thanks.



Submitted November 16, 2019 at 11:55PM

I am exclusive with this girl. I learned recently that she is still hurting for her ex of 4 months who moved away in August and that she wanted to do a long distance relationship but he didn't. She and her ex both knew that the relationship would end in a few months as he had a job offer in another country.She originally got over him in a month but last week received a phone call from him regarding his ex's father. The girl wants to be in a relationship with me but had second doubts when the EX's father died and she was invited to the funeral and attended today. She is very conflicted and says she doesn't know if I am a backup or the first choice. I believe her but at the same time I know that I could potentially be the "safe" second choice at home since she might be lying to herself.Is it worth it to be someone's second choice? Can a second choice ever be a first? They were only together for four months and he is forever gone in another country.This is my first relationship and she knows that I am a kind and good natured person. Thanks.
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