Ex wants to remain friends. I said no but I'm having trouble justifying it.

So my ex (32F) broke things off with me (38M) a few months ago saying she "needed space." We still hung out a few times a week, still had sex, we just weren't in a relationship. A few days ago, she said she thinks we should start dating other people but wants to stay friends. I told her I don't want that. Then she hit me with "so if we aren't sleeping together then you want nothing to do with me?" and I don't really know how to respond to that. We get along really well, but I want more and don't want to feel like a back-up plan while she dates other guys. She thinks I should accept that we aren't getting back together and let those feelings go so we can be buddies, but I don't want to and don't know how to justify it. I mean, she's basically right, but the way she words it makes me feel like a jerk. Thoughts?



Submitted November 16, 2019 at 11:53PM

So my ex (32F) broke things off with me (38M) a few months ago saying she "needed space." We still hung out a few times a week, still had sex, we just weren't in a relationship. A few days ago, she said she thinks we should start dating other people but wants to stay friends. I told her I don't want that. Then she hit me with "so if we aren't sleeping together then you want nothing to do with me?" and I don't really know how to respond to that. We get along really well, but I want more and don't want to feel like a back-up plan while she dates other guys. She thinks I should accept that we aren't getting back together and let those feelings go so we can be buddies, but I don't want to and don't know how to justify it. I mean, she's basically right, but the way she words it makes me feel like a jerk. Thoughts?
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