Insecure about number of partners. Thoughts?

(21F) who has slept with around 20 people.

I know that it might be kind of high for someone barley in there 20s and I don’t know how I got to this point but here I am. I am scared that my future husband or boyfriend are going to be completely disheveled over this information and not find me desirable anymore. But I personally don’t necessarily see my high number as a bad thing. I’m clean, safe, and pretty quiet about it. If I dated a guy with a high number of partners it really wouldn’t bother me that much, it just means he’s that much better in bed. But, friends and societal standards make me feel disgusting for my high number at a young age and it really kinda messes with my head and self esteem sometimes. It almost feels like I have “whore” written with glow in the dark marker on my forehead. So I’m wondering do guys care or even want to know about past partners or just avoid that topic all together?



Submitted October 08, 2019 at 11:50PM

(21F) who has slept with around 20 people.I know that it might be kind of high for someone barley in there 20s and I don’t know how I got to this point but here I am. I am scared that my future husband or boyfriend are going to be completely disheveled over this information and not find me desirable anymore. But I personally don’t necessarily see my high number as a bad thing. I’m clean, safe, and pretty quiet about it. If I dated a guy with a high number of partners it really wouldn’t bother me that much, it just means he’s that much better in bed. But, friends and societal standards make me feel disgusting for my high number at a young age and it really kinda messes with my head and self esteem sometimes. It almost feels like I have “whore” written with glow in the dark marker on my forehead. So I’m wondering do guys care or even want to know about past partners or just avoid that topic all together?
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