I [24F] am having guilt and sadness over walking away from a very toxic friend [25F]

I had a friend who had been in my life for nineteen years. She has some mental health issues that have caused her to be unable to maintain relationships both romantic and plutonic. She has a victim complex and would constantly hijack conversations to make them about her. She lied constantly and would attack me out of nowhere and would get irrationally irate when I told her that her actions had hurt me. She was fully and completely unable to take any form of criticism and would become emotionally and mentally unhinged if anyone suggested that she had done something wrong. I tried so hard to keep our friendship going, but she hurt me so badly and so deeply on so many occasions. She took advantage of my compassion and eagerness to help her. She made belittling comments to my fiance and was jealous that I had started my career as a designer and was in a healthy and committed relationship with my man (she had failed to get a job after graduating from college as she turned her nose up at every entry level job because she felt like having two bachelors exempted her from starting at the bottom like everyone else and her relationship with her man was falling apart while mine was starting to get serious). Like she made me feel guilty for being successful and would make disparaging remarks about my college degree and my job and belittle or make light of my relationship with my fiance. I think the worst thing was that she would introduce me as the sick girl to her friends because I have an autonomic nervous system disorder - that was hurtful because it makes my illness my identity and strips me of my uniqueness. I even told her not to and she still did it and would talk to people I didn't know and tell them about my illness.
There is so much more messed up stuff she did, but listing it all would be petty and take far too long. I know I made the right choice with bowing out of our friendship, but it just hurts my heart that it came to that. She cut me so deep but I want to keep forgiving her and let all the nastiness of the past go because I do miss her. Due to her inability to take criticism, trying to tell her how her actions affected me never ended well. When I tried it she would be unbelievable cruel to me, any attempt at communication was futile once she became unhinged. Has anyone been through something like this? Should I reach out to her and give her another chance in the hopes that she does finally change some day? It saddens me deeply to know she probably won't be in or at my wedding and that the person I have known the longest outside of my family is gone from my life. Am I in the wrong for walking away? The guilt I have makes me think I shouldn't have walked out but my emotional health was being so greatly affected that I felt exhausted and empty all the time, since I walked away I've been returning to my old self. But the guilt is killing me. Any advice at all would be appreciated and if there are any questions I can answer them.

TL;DR! I'm [24F] having guilt over ending a toxic relationship with my friend [25F] that I have known for 19 years and am wondering if I should have given her another second chance because people can change and a 19 year long friendship is not something that should just be thrown away

Submitted October 10, 2019 at 12:14AM

I had a friend who had been in my life for nineteen years. She has some mental health issues that have caused her to be unable to maintain relationships both romantic and plutonic. She has a victim complex and would constantly hijack conversations to make them about her. She lied constantly and would attack me out of nowhere and would get irrationally irate when I told her that her actions had hurt me. She was fully and completely unable to take any form of criticism and would become emotionally and mentally unhinged if anyone suggested that she had done something wrong. I tried so hard to keep our friendship going, but she hurt me so badly and so deeply on so many occasions. She took advantage of my compassion and eagerness to help her. She made belittling comments to my fiance and was jealous that I had started my career as a designer and was in a healthy and committed relationship with my man (she had failed to get a job after graduating from college as she turned her nose up at every entry level job because she felt like having two bachelors exempted her from starting at the bottom like everyone else and her relationship with her man was falling apart while mine was starting to get serious). Like she made me feel guilty for being successful and would make disparaging remarks about my college degree and my job and belittle or make light of my relationship with my fiance. I think the worst thing was that she would introduce me as the sick girl to her friends because I have an autonomic nervous system disorder - that was hurtful because it makes my illness my identity and strips me of my uniqueness. I even told her not to and she still did it and would talk to people I didn't know and tell them about my illness.There is so much more messed up stuff she did, but listing it all would be petty and take far too long. I know I made the right choice with bowing out of our friendship, but it just hurts my heart that it came to that. She cut me so deep but I want to keep forgiving her and let all the nastiness of the past go because I do miss her. Due to her inability to take criticism, trying to tell her how her actions affected me never ended well. When I tried it she would be unbelievable cruel to me, any attempt at communication was futile once she became unhinged. Has anyone been through something like this? Should I reach out to her and give her another chance in the hopes that she does finally change some day? It saddens me deeply to know she probably won't be in or at my wedding and that the person I have known the longest outside of my family is gone from my life. Am I in the wrong for walking away? The guilt I have makes me think I shouldn't have walked out but my emotional health was being so greatly affected that I felt exhausted and empty all the time, since I walked away I've been returning to my old self. But the guilt is killing me. Any advice at all would be appreciated and if there are any questions I can answer them.TL;DR! I'm [24F] having guilt over ending a toxic relationship with my friend [25F] that I have known for 19 years and am wondering if I should have given her another second chance because people can change and a 19 year long friendship is not something that should just be thrown away