Polyamory Problem. Primary Partner (28F) doesn't like Potential Boyfriend (24M) that I'd(29F) like to date

My situation is about my primary partner and a guy I'd like to potentially date.

OK so Primary Partner, Potential BF and I all dated as a triad for 4-5 months but my primary and I have very different tastes in people and while I had chemistry with him, she didn’t. We broke it off with him because of these differences.

Months later primary decided to change our dynamic and trying being in an open relationship instead of looking for a third to complete us. The change has been a bit hard for me to settle into.

Potential BF and I got back in contact with each other. And it’s even more evident that we have a lot of chemistry and the traits that my partner found undesirable weren’t as big of a deal for me. We started with just a friendly catch up, then mild flirting and the like for almost 2-3 weeks and we agreed to go on a date.

The date itself was a bit of a flop but he listened to my concerns with grace and didn’t push when I said we wouldn’t be in contact again.

The problem is now, I realized I started falling for PBF almost immediately once we got back in contact. I still have doubts and issues with what a relationship with him would be like but the longer I think on it, the more I wonder if it’s worth another (proper) go.I feel maybe I was jumping the gun to cut him out because I know what my primary partner thinks of him. Her opinion really matters to me and I know this will further change the dynamics of our relationship if I choose to pursue PBF. I’m just not sure if I’m entirely ok with making the permanent change in dynamics with my Primary Partner.



Submitted July 24, 2019 at 11:59PM

My situation is about my primary partner and a guy I'd like to potentially date.OK so Primary Partner, Potential BF and I all dated as a triad for 4-5 months but my primary and I have very different tastes in people and while I had chemistry with him, she didn’t. We broke it off with him because of these differences.Months later primary decided to change our dynamic and trying being in an open relationship instead of looking for a third to complete us. The change has been a bit hard for me to settle into.Potential BF and I got back in contact with each other. And it’s even more evident that we have a lot of chemistry and the traits that my partner found undesirable weren’t as big of a deal for me. We started with just a friendly catch up, then mild flirting and the like for almost 2-3 weeks and we agreed to go on a date.The date itself was a bit of a flop but he listened to my concerns with grace and didn’t push when I said we wouldn’t be in contact again.The problem is now, I realized I started falling for PBF almost immediately once we got back in contact. I still have doubts and issues with what a relationship with him would be like but the longer I think on it, the more I wonder if it’s worth another (proper) go.I feel maybe I was jumping the gun to cut him out because I know what my primary partner thinks of him. Her opinion really matters to me and I know this will further change the dynamics of our relationship if I choose to pursue PBF. I’m just not sure if I’m entirely ok with making the permanent change in dynamics with my Primary Partner.
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