Is it me or him?

So I (21F) met this guy(22M) on OkCupid and we've been dating for like 1 1/2 months now. He seemed super sweet and kind at first, but I'm not so sure. On our dates he doesn't talk much. I feel pressured to guide the conversation because he doesn't talk about anything, just comments on what I say. He doesn't ask questions about me or anything, not even the basic stuff like asking when my birthday is or if I have siblings. And, sometimes he seems annoyed that I'm even talking and appears to be distant. Not distracted, but distant. It's frustrating but he swears he prefers listening.

I mentioned this to him and the fact that he seems not to remember what I say. His first explanation was he has short term memory loss from a medication. The next explanation that he gave was that we'd learn about eachother over time so we don't have to ask eachother questions. The third explanation he gave was that he's "trying his best to get to know me". For clarity, I mentioned this weeks apart and received different repsonses.

Because he is so quiet I think I'm the issue. Sometimes he just stares at me and doesn't give real responses and I feel super self conscious. I don't consider myself an insecure person, but his behavior makes me feel insecure and I end up fishing for compliments to gauge his feelings. And because of this he seems to respect me less, and is occasionally rude or inconsiderate.

Am I the issue here? Is it me or him?



Submitted July 17, 2019 at 12:04AM

So I (21F) met this guy(22M) on OkCupid and we've been dating for like 1 1/2 months now. He seemed super sweet and kind at first, but I'm not so sure. On our dates he doesn't talk much. I feel pressured to guide the conversation because he doesn't talk about anything, just comments on what I say. He doesn't ask questions about me or anything, not even the basic stuff like asking when my birthday is or if I have siblings. And, sometimes he seems annoyed that I'm even talking and appears to be distant. Not distracted, but distant. It's frustrating but he swears he prefers listening.I mentioned this to him and the fact that he seems not to remember what I say. His first explanation was he has short term memory loss from a medication. The next explanation that he gave was that we'd learn about eachother over time so we don't have to ask eachother questions. The third explanation he gave was that he's "trying his best to get to know me". For clarity, I mentioned this weeks apart and received different repsonses.Because he is so quiet I think I'm the issue. Sometimes he just stares at me and doesn't give real responses and I feel super self conscious. I don't consider myself an insecure person, but his behavior makes me feel insecure and I end up fishing for compliments to gauge his feelings. And because of this he seems to respect me less, and is occasionally rude or inconsiderate.Am I the issue here? Is it me or him?
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